Duc in Altum - Into the Deep

In Awe of the Father

2011-11-16T20:09:00.000-06:00

My latest post over at Mysterium. Enjoy!

Desiring Excellence

2011-10-15T12:53:00.004-05:00

It seems as though the focus of my life on the ship, particularly as an officer, is correcting deficiencies. Our days are spent preparing for the next inspection, the next assessment, or the next certification. Since we are to always be inspection-ready and combat-ready, we are taught to maintain a critical eye, especially of our own ship/spaces/sailors. These self-assessments come in the smallest of ways, like in passing a sailor in the passageway and giving their uniform a once-over for sharpness; or in the big ways, like in preparing a ship for its deployment readiness certification.

We are taught that there is a standard, and that the standard must be enforced. So, each time you pass by a sailor who needs a haircut, a firehose stowed improperly, a passageway that has not been swept for days, etc, and do not do something to correct the deficiency, you are failing to enforce the standard. So what should you do? You stop the sailor and remind him to get a haircut. You report to the division responsible that their firehose needs to be restowed or their passageway needs to be swept. Then, the most important part. You go back and verify that the deficiency was actually corrected. It's not enough to just report it and "pass the buck." Some of the best words of advice for a young officer are those of the great President Ronald Reagan: "trust but verify."

I feel like I spend way too much of my time correcting deficiencies. Don't get me wrong--I know there will always be deficiencies to correct, but how do you move from the place of constantly pinging on people get their work done and be mindful of the details to getting them to actually take ownership of their equipment, their spaces, their responsibilities, so that I have less "deficiency correcting" to do? How do I inspire a sailor to do what they are supposed to do, not because they fear my watchful eye, but because they want to be excellent? And should I find a deficiency, that they be upset for not catching it themselves and desire to quickly correct it? How do we get to that point?

I will certainly spend my career, and beyond, figuring that one out. Until then, I try to instill in my sailors a desire to be excellent and to do the right thing simply by trying to be excellent and do the right thing myself. It's a challenge. But I don't quite know of any other way to do it than lead by example and hope that they will follow. Why settle for being great when you could be excellent?

Where Truth and Beauty Meet

2011-10-12T08:42:00.002-05:00

I'm happy to have just had my first blog post published on Mysterium's blog, "Where Truth and Beauty Meet to Transform Culture." Check it out!

Mysterium is home to such projects as the band Marian Grace, the prayer book Oratio, and a movement in the Church to transform the culture from within. Our faith does not have to be seperate from our existence in the culture that we find ourselves in--in fact, our practice of deeply living our Catholic faith from while experiencing the culture is what will ultimately transform it. There is nothing more attractive than someone truly trying to live out their faith, right among the ordinary things of life; in fact, I'd consider that to be the starting point of evangelization.

His eye is on the sparrow

2011-08-16T18:50:00.004-05:00

This has definitely been "the summer of Audrey Assad," at least when it comes to what has been most frequently enjoyed on my iPod! (haha, no rhyme intended) Her latest album, "The House You're Building," has been a staple in my life these past couple months. I started listening to it in its fullness around March and kept it on throughout the summer. Its songs have expressed the realities of my heart through what has been the most unexpectedly formative period in my life.

A song she has yet to release, but can be heard in her concerts and captured in some recordings online, is called "Sparrow." You can listen to it here. The lyrics follow.

Why should I be lonely, long for heaven and home
When Jesus is my portion and a constant Friend I know

I sing because I'm happy, I sing because I'm free
For His eye is on the sparrow, His eye is on the sparrow
And I know He's watching me

Why should I be troubled when His tender word I hear
I rest on His goodness in my doubt and in my fear

It's hard to imagine life as a little sparrow. These tiny birds eat seeds, fly around, and live a seemingly meaningless existence. But their voice, their song, is beautiful and precious to God, their Creator. If God could so esteem a sparrow as to keep His eye on him, how much more does He esteem and keep guard over us? Why should we be lonely or troubled?

Rest on the goodness of the Lord.

For All My Life...Pale Ale

2011-07-26T18:54:00.005-05:00

This past Monday was the Final Profession for the Dominican Sisters of Saint Cecilia in Nashville, and one of my dear friends professed her final vows! Amazing! I've known her for over four years now, and I'd gotten to spend many moments with her during the past six months in particular, leading up to this beautiful day. It has been a grace to get to witness those final months before she professed her vows to the Lord "for all my life." I sadly was not able to be there in Nashville to witness it in person, but very dearly held to my heart the words of Saint John Vianney, that "Miles melt before the tabernacle!"

I don't think I've blogged about it before, but upon returning home from my deployment, I got into homebrewing. That's right, brewing my own beer! It's a perfect combination of my love for cooking, for science, and for delicious craft beer! :-) I thought there would be no way more appropriate to celebrate and commemorate my dear friend making her final vows than to brew a commemorative beer in honor of her and her Sisters on this special occasion. The recipe I used is a clone of my favorite craft beer, Magic Hat #9, a pale ale with a hint of apricot. If I could only drink one beer for the rest of my life, it would be that one. So in light of that fact, and in honor of those words that my friend and her Sisters professed on Monday, I've named the brew "For-All-My-Life Pale Ale." It will be ready in four weeks--I'll let you know how it turns out!

I enjoyed a Magic Hat #9 while brewing...so hopefully it will end up tasting like this! I used a frosty pint glass from Southend Brewery in Charleston, SC--hometown of my dear friend who made her final vows!

Fermentation in progress, with previous homebrews in the background!!

The Next Step

2011-07-16T09:54:00.002-05:00

Woe to me if I should prove myself

but a halfhearted soldier

in the service of

my thorn-crowned Captain.

Saint Fidelis of Sigmarigen

Yesterday, I completed my temporary duty assignment and returned back to my ship to start my second tour, my next two years onboard. It was a big step, with much more significance than simply checking back in and getting my orders stamped!

The opportunity God has given me to return to the same ship for my second tour is truly a blessing. It was an offer that I first rejected--and it took a second opportunity and a blatantly clear manifestation of God's will for me to accept; but all in God's planning, I suppose! I am so renewed and refreshed thanks to the time I was able to spend away from the ship, and am ready to return and continue the good work that God has already begun onboard, particularly in the hearts of my shipmates.

I know my excitement and positive attitude is at the risk of being quickly subdued as I report back and am reminded of the rigors of sea duty and shipboard life. But my confidence rests in God alone, and not in myself--for surely nothing would be accomplished if it was only up to me and my weak heart!

I was blessed to receive a text of the quote above this morning from a dear one. It couldn't have come at a better time. This will be the motto I take with me as I embark upon the next two years--may I never be halfhearted! Please pray for me and for my ship, that God may be glorified here.

Never Far From Home

2011-06-26T20:20:00.002-05:00

"O precious and wonderful banquet, that brings us salvation and contains all sweetness! Could anything be of more intrinsic value? What could be more wonderful than this? No other sacrament has greater healing power; through it sins are purged away, virtues are increased, and the soul is enriched with an abundance of every spiritual gift. Yet, in the end, no one can fully express the sweetness of this sacrament, in which spiritual delight is tasted at its very source, and in which we renew the memory of that surpassing love for which Christ revealed in His passion."

~Saint Thomas Aquinas, O.P.

Happy solemnity of Corpus Christi! I have particular affection for this feast day, because discovering our Lord's true presence in the Eucharist was the instrument of my "reversion" to the Catholic faith.

Growing up Catholic, and always going through sacramental formation in my various parishes, I always knew the Eucharist was special--that there was some great significance to our Communion, and that it wasn't just like other churches and their partaking of the Lord's Supper. But I didn't really know what that meant. I didn't really know much more than that it was special and significant.

I first truly recognized our Lord, in His Eucharistic presence, during my confirmation retreat in 10th grade, and He then reinforced the reality of His presence the following summer at the Steubenville South Youth Conference in Alexandria, LA. Unfortunately, my lack of spiritual maturity, and lack of involvement in a youth group community led me to quickly forget the reality I had so beautifully experienced during those times. But major seeds were planted.

It took getting to a really low and lost point in my life to realize that what I was searching for the whole time was Him--I was off trying to fill that void in my life, that desire for Jesus, with anything but Him. It took a random retreat I hastily attended at the last minute, a few months before my graduation from high school, for God to allow me another opportunity to meet Him, face to face, in the Most Blessed Sacrament. And there He came. So simply, so humbly, so beautifully. For me. Right in front of me. Despite my failings. Despite running away from Him. He was still there. And always has been!

My entire life changed after that point. I mean, if you REALLY believe in the Real Presence, it should change everything about your life! As Saint Augustine commented--normally, our bodies receive food, in order for us to take that food and turn it into ourselves. But in receiving the Eucharist, we receive the Bread of Angels in order to become what we consume--Jesus, in His fullness.

As I sometimes tell my Protestant friends--when Jesus told His disciples that He would be with them even until the end of time, or when He took bread wine at the Last Supper and said "this is My Body, this is My Blood, do this in remembrance of Me"...do you think He was only kidding?! He wasn't!

The universality of the Eucharist has been particularly beautiful for me during my various travels in the Navy. Anywhere we went in the world, any port we visited, in any country, I knew I could find a Catholic church. And no matter the language, no matter the local customs, no matter what--Jesus would be there, fully, Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity, in His Eucharistic presence. With that reality, I was never far from home. I was at home in every place I visited, all around the world, whenever I was sitting before the tabernacle.

Thank you Lord, for remaining with us. May we become what we eat, and through that reality, transform our world.

My first deer.

2011-06-20T06:34:00.001-05:00

Had an unbelievable weekend in Charleston--that will have to be a whole post in itself sometime soon! Got back safely to Virginia yesterday, but not without incident--I hit a deer, at night on a country road! Yikes! It was a little traumatizing, but I am ok. My car is banged up. All I know is that it could have been much worse. So I'm saying some prayers of thanksgiving for my guardian angel today! You should do the same for yours!

Watch out for deer!

Mid-Week Pilgrimage

2011-06-15T21:08:00.002-05:00

I am currently on a temporary assignment at a base a couple hours north of Norfolk. We got out of our class very early today after an exam, so I decided to go on a little pilgrimage!

First stop, St. Ignatius Catholic Church in Chapel Point, Maryland, founded in 1641 by the Jesuits. It is the oldest continuously active parish in the United States.

The property overlooks the Potomac River. It was a beautiful, clear, mild day today!

Can you believe it? Since 1641!

Inside the church, with a beautiful painting of Saint Ignatius of Loyola behind the altar.

Next stop was the Carmelite Monastery of Port Tobacco, Maryland. Founded in 1790, this was the first Carmelite Monastery in the United States, and is still a thriving monastery today! It was very peaceful and quiet, nestled in the woods and rolling hills.

From inside their old monastery, which is now a little museum, commemorating the way things were for the four original foundresses.

Inside the chapel. Very simple, and very Carmelite!

There are quite a few new parts to the monastery, including a lovely gift shop, a garden, a vast "front door," and this beautiful statue of Our Lady holding the Child Jesus.

Last stop was the "First Landing," the site where the first English Catholics came ashore to the colonies, seeking religious freedom. They sailed on two ships, the ARK and the DOVE, and encountered many troubles along the journey, but made it to the shores of the colonies on a little island they named Saint Clement's Island, standing in the Potomac River between Virginia and Maryland. They landed here on the Feast of the Annunciation, March 25, 1634. On that day, and at this place, the very first Mass was celebrated in the colonies. Awesome!

The island in the background is St. Clement's Island. The settlers were not sure how the Native Americans would react to their arrival, so they first landed on the island instead of the mainland. One of the priests in the group, Father Andrew White, S.J., wasted no time for evangelization and rowed over to the mainland the very next day, bringing Christ to the Natives. Talk about a priest who was living in the spirit of his founder!

It was a great day. I loved the opportunity to go on pilgrimage to see my American Catholic roots! It's easy to forget that we don't have to go very far to make a pilgrimage. We have so much history right in our backyards!

Gray Hair

2011-06-03T18:42:00.003-05:00

As most of you know, I spent most of last year on deployment--seven months at sea. Halfway around the world and back, and many places in between. Life at sea is very simple. It is very ordered. As a holy priest friend always would remind me, "If you take care of order, order will take care of you." Upon returning from deployment, I realized just how much I loved the order of my life at sea! It was definitely "sensory overload" when it got home, and it took a few weeks to adjust. I think it has taken me till now (5 months since returning home, mind you) to figure out how to restore order to my life amidst a culture that is very anti-order.

One of the other things I discovered upon returning home is that I have gray hair. Not just a single gray hair, or a few gray hairs scattered about, but legitimate "clumps" of gray hair! In several places! Now, before you accuse me of vanity and offer me a verse from Ecclesiastes to comfort me, allow me a few moments to offer a rant. Gray hair?!? Sure, I'm in my mid-twenties, and getting older, but gray hair?! Really?? Of course this has been the most delightful opportunity for my mom to suggest that now I finally need to go get my hair highlighted (haha, doubtful).

So now, I am trying to figure out: what caused my gray hair? Seven months of stressful yet ordered life at sea, or five months of struggling to adjust back to the world and achieve order once again? I don't know. I only discovered it in early March of this year, so who knows. I don't even know how you get gray hair. Don't worry, I'm not so worried or obsessed that I've been WebMD-ing gray hair growth or anything, but it is a curious thing as to how it came about.

At the very least, I will look with a little sense of affection to those gray hairs. Even if it is just an old wives tale, I'll take it if it means I have grown somewhat in wisdom. As we look towards the Solemnity of Pentecost (novena starts today!) may we never cease to be open to receive the gifts of the Holy Spirit, especially wisdom! Even if it brings with it a few gray hairs. :-)

Choosing Life

2011-05-27T20:12:00.005-05:00

A Sailor came by my office yesterday to see me on her checklist of preparations for detaching from the ship. I was surprised--she wasn't set to transfer for quite a few months. But I put the pieces together quickly, and she revealed that she was transferring early because she was pregnant. Something you should know--when a Sailor discovers she is pregnant, she is essentially transferred off the ship almost immediately, as they cannot be on the ship past 20 weeks into their pregnancy. Usually, it is much sooner than that. They are transferred to a shore duty position and are an immediate and unexpected loss to the ship.

This isn't the first Sailor who has gotten pregnant while on sea duty. (For those not as familiar with Navy terminology, "sea duty" means you are serving on a ship, as opposed to serving at a shore-based command. You rotate between sea and shore duties every couple of years). There's nothing wrong or against the rules for a Sailor to get pregnant while on sea duty. You could say that it is "discouraged"--seasoned Sailors would say, "well that's what shore duty is for!" and might even frown upon those who get pregnant while on sea duty. You might hear some who say "it hurts the ship" or "it's selfish"...ugh, makes me want to scream. Yes--the Sailor is an unexpected loss, and their role and duties on the ship will have to be filled quickly. But life goes on. The Navy will send someone else. Someone will step up and take care of business. The beautiful reality is that, whether "planned" or not, this Sailor is bringing a new life into the world, and that is ALWAYS a reason to rejoice.

Anyway, this particular Sailor was one I really admired professionally, and respected a great deal more personally after this moment we had together. During her time onboard, she was a forceful leader among the female enlisted Sailors and really took charge of keeping them in line. She had a lot of experience and a lot of special skills vital to the command. She opened up to me, there in my office, about how she was sick of so many people telling her she had "other options;" that this "issue" didn't have to halt her career. She kept telling me, "I know God has a plan for this baby. I just know it." And although it is an inopportune time for her to have a baby, it is God's plan--and she was surrendered to it beautifully, despite the despicable commentary of some of her shipmates.

It is in little moments like this that I am really encouraged in my unbelievably secular line of work. Sadly, we've had quite a few situations like this on my ship that didn't end this way. So when these little victories come, it is a great blessing and such a wonderful reminder that God is here working--even on my crazy little ship. :-)

The End of the One-Year Hiatus!

2011-05-24T20:09:00.003-05:00

Well, looks like it's been a year since I posted last...wow! Much has happened during that year.
Namely, I made a seven-month overseas deployment, saw the world, learned a lot about myself, and grew in my love for our Lord Jesus Christ.

Now, post-deployment and two years into my service in the Navy, I have hit a crossroads in my life. Maybe this little blog will be a means for me to process all of these things! All for God's glory, and for His will to be done. Now and forever!

"I have the deck."

2010-05-30T06:15:00.002-05:00

I'm happy to report that on Friday, I met one of the biggest milestones of my Naval career as a Surface Warfare Officer. I am now a qualified "Officer of the Deck" Underway. The Officer of the Deck is the eyes and ears of the Captain in the Pilothouse (aka the Bridge) for safe and swift navigation of the ship and execution of the ship's schedule and routine.

The officer of the deck (OOD) occupies a unique position in a naval ship. Nowhere in military or civilian life is there a parallel to the range and degree of responsibility that is placed in the hands of the OOD. As a direct representative of the Captain, he or she acts with all the authority of command and, next to the Captain and Executive Officer (XO), is the most important person in the ship. Qualification as OOD is the cornerstone of professional growth for a surface line officer and the most critical milestone of the Surface Warfare Qualification. (Watch Officer's Guide)

Following a four years of preparation in college and the past year experiencing different evolutions, I was offered to have a qualification board with the Captain, XO, and Department Heads of the ship to earn my qual. After a lot of studying and two practice boards (aka "murder boards") I went into my final board and passed! It gave me a great boost of confidence and excitement. And yet, it is also a great burden--knowing the responsibility which lies in my hands during my watch. Luckily, I am surrounded by fellow officers who will continue to train me and help me through these first few weeks of being qualified. All of this, both my recent qualification and my very status as a Naval officer, is an honor I am unworthy of and try to live up to each day.

When we turnover the watch, there's a formal process of passing down information and a professional military turnover, with salutes and statements of relieving the watch. Standing watch as the OOD is known as "having the deck." I wish I could tell you what it's like to utter those words, especially for the first time, "Attention in the Pilothouse...I have the deck."

Praised be Jesus Christ for carrying me to this milestone. All glory and honor belong to Him--for this is His work.

One Year Down...

2010-05-08T21:56:00.006-05:00

Hard to believe. As of today, I've completed my first year as a commissioned officer in the Navy. My first year living totally on my own, out of college and in the world. It's been a year?! In some respects, college seems like a far distant memory; in another, it feels like yesterday that I was walking across the stage at graduation. Moving to my first duty station last May, I never knew I'd experience what I've experienced this year. Not that anything particularly shocking or crazy has happened--it's just that each day, I never know what could happen next.

Here's some particular experiences that have been pretty noteworthy during my first year of "real life"--some were expected, some unexpected:

1. Went to court

Ok, I'll clarify. I went to court with one of my sailors. It's protocol that if one of our sailors has to go to court, be it for a traffic ticket or something more, someone from the chain of command has to go with him/her. It's kind of a neat idea, and is a great illustration of how we in the military really support each other--the whole person. Leadership and caring for your sailors doesn't stop when you cross the brow of the ship--it's a full-time job, and you need your head on a swivel to keep track of everyone. You wouldn't find that in the corporate world.

2. Went to jail

Haha--don't worry, it wasn't me who was in jail! But I did go to jail to pick someone up after getting released. One of my sailors, in fact. I'll never forget what that drive back to the ship was like. Hearing his story of what his 25 days in jail were like, and the fear in his voice knowing he was going to come back to the ship just to be kicked out of the Navy and have to go back on the streets--streets he joined the Navy to escape from. But he was having continual discipline issues, and his bout in jail was the straw that broke the camel's back. I still think about him--I hope he's doing ok.

3. Administered oaths

One of the privilidges you have as an officer is the authority to reenlist a sailor signing on for additional years of service, readministering their oath of enlistment and witnessing the signing of their new contract. This is one of those honors I love to do--and one I never feel worthy of. I was also extremely honored to get to serve as the commissioning officer for one of my friends from college who recently became a Marine Corps officer. I administer the oath of office, that beautiful public vow we make as officers, indefinitely pledging our allegiance to and defense of the Constitution of the United States. Sweet. And I finally got to go to the USMC Museum!

4. Played on a soccer team

I know I know, kinda lame. Not as illustrious as the other items on this list. But seriously--I never would have thought I'd be playing on a soccer team past third grade. Thank you Naval Base Intramurals! And my awesome shipmates/teammates, the base championship runner-ups. :-)

5. Marched for Life

Yes! I finally got to go to the March for Life! What an amazing event it was. I ran into so many people that I knew, and so many friends of friends--it's such a beautiful legit Catholic family we have. I was so encouraged to be there in our nation's capital, standing with my generation for those who have no voice. Pretty moving.

6. Watched the Saints win the Superbowl

I mean, come on. This was the biggest event ever for Saints fans, the city of New Orleans, and Gulf Coast. What a glorious season. And the best part--to be in New Orleans the week after for Mardi Gras, watching Drew Brees reign as Bacchus, and hear WHO DAT while dancing the Second Line nonstop.

I wouldn't say I've learned anything too particularly profound this past year. If anything, I've learned how beautifully simple your life can be, and at the same time, so utterly fulfilling. All it takes is an unwavering attentiveness to God and a total trust in His will. Simple, right?

His will continues to unfold before me, and each day, I wake up ready to set out into the deep, not knowing what is going to happen next. I'm recklessly abandoned to His Divine Providence--only thanks to the grace He never ceases to offer upon my unworthy soul. Who could ask for more?

"Your will is my heritage forever, the joy of my heart.
I set myself to carry out your will in fullness, forever."
~Psalm 119

Right Place, Right Time

2010-04-29T20:25:00.004-05:00

For the servant of God,

every place is the right place

and every time is the right time.

Saint Catherine of Siena

What better words could be proclaimed by my dear sister Catherine than these, especially at this point in my life! How better to embrace the sanctity of the present moment than to remember that if we follow God's will and abandon ourselves to divine providence, everything will fall exactly into place, exactly as it is supposed to.

There will be hopefully be more blogging coming up, especially as my shipmates and I prepare to "set out into the deep" in just a couple of weeks. I also wanted to share this lovely photo of some of the Sisters from St. Mary Star of the Sea School in Hampton, a mission of the Dominican Sisters of Saint Cecilia, visiting my ship for a tour.

Praised be Jesus Christ, now and forever!

Come Awake

2010-02-27T23:36:00.007-06:00

The Gospel reading for today, for the Second Sunday of Lent, is of the Transfiguration of Christ, where Christ shone in glory to Peter, James, and John, and His Sonship to God the Father was once again revealed. I love the Transfiguration. My favorite line of the reading is the words of Peter, realizing the beauty and glory of that moment, and saying, "It is good that we are here." I find myself saying that so often in my life. In those moments when you feel so fulfilled, so at peace, so content with what God has given you; how can you not just look around, breathe it all in, and say, "it is good that we are here."

Tonight, though, for the first time, I noticed some new words.

Peter and his companions

had been overcome by sleep;

but becoming fully awake,

they saw His glory.

(Luke 9:32)

Peter and his companions were asleep--definitely a recurring problem for them--falling asleep as Jesus kept His long prayer vigils. At this point, as Christ was praying, Moses and Elijah appeared and were conversing with Christ before Peter, James, and John even woke up! Look at what they were missing! Look at what was happening before them--but--they were asleep. Missing out on the glory before them.

And yet, suddenly, they were awakened. And Scripture doesn't just say "they woke up," but rather, that they became "fully awake." What does that mean? What's the difference between being "awake" and being "fully awake?" If they had just been "awake," they would have woken up, freaked out at the bright light and strange people around them, and we would have heard a much different Gospel today. Instead, they were "fully awake"--and they immediately saw the glory of the Lord before them, recognized Moses and Elijah before them, and immediately saw the Truth, Beauty of Goodness of the Transfiguration. Peter made that beautiful statement, "it is good that we are here," and even offered to build tents, that they might stay there and allow this unbelievable moment to endure. They were fully awake because their hearts were attentive to God and hopeful for what He could do in their lives--and hence, the Transfiguration was not a moment of fright, but a moment of sheer beauty.

So what are we doing? Are we living our lives asleep, blind to what is going on around us, unaware of what God is doing in our lives? Are we not asleep but just simply awake, able to see what God is doing but not able to comprehend it or accept it? Or, are we living our lives fully awake, aware of His grace and His goodness, thriving so beautifully in His will that we cannot help but exclaim at every moment of our lives, "it is good that we are here."

Wake up!

Hope for the world? Union with God.

2010-02-02T14:52:00.005-06:00

Today we celebrate the Feast of the Presentation of the Lord, when our Lord Jesus Christ was presented to God in the temple by our Blessed Mother and Saint Joseph. It is also the day we observe the World Day for Consecrated Life. Just as Mary and Joseph brought their Son to the temple to offer Him to the service of God, so too do men and women offer their entirety to the service of God and His Church through the vows of the consecrated life, choosing to mold themselves most intimately to Christ the poor, Christ the chaste, Christ the obedient.

You might hear some argue that such concepts as vowed religious life are "out of date" or "medieval" or "no longer necessary" to the modern world we live in today. With iPods and computers and connectivity and the world literally at our fingertips, why choose to live such an austere and seemingly pointless life? What those nay-sayers don't realize is that the consecrated life is exactly what the world needs. And quite frankly, the consecrated life is the secret to what has kept the Church ticking through 2000 years of joys and sufferings, of successes and hardships.

Nuns and Sisters, Friars and Brothers throughout history have done marvelous things. With lives totally devoted to the service of the Church, they have a unique availability to the matters of God. Countless Saints were religious, serving in so many apostolates: for the poor, for the elderly, for the sick, for children, for the orphaned--and the list goes on. And while this seems to be the most recognized facet of the lives of religious in history, it actually is not the crux of who they are and why they exist. The reality is that the apostolate--the work in the world--is secondary in the life of a religious person.

A consecrated person's primary obligation is union with God--a radical embrace of the life of Christ, living out fully the evangelical councils, and hence serving as eschatological signs to the world of what we should expect in Heaven. If we reduce the religious life to simply a renunciation of marriage for a greater availability to the business of the Church, we are selling the life short of what it truly is.

And so, in a world so in need of workers in the Lord's vineyard, with so many poor and sick and abandoned and lonely people needing the hand of Christ to serve them--what the world needs above all is hope. Hope that there is a reason to get out of bed each morning besides the next paycheck and the next fad. Hope that our lives have meaning and purpose beyond social status and popularity. Hope that there is a place beyond the turmoil and suffering of our fallen humanity.

And where will society find this hope? In the heart of every Christian, radically serving as an alter Christus, another Christ, on earth. And most especially, we find that hope in the heart of every person consecrated to the Lord Jesus Christ, through their unwavering fidelity to prayer, their fixation on the heart of Christ, and the sacrifice of their entire lives for the sake of the Kingdom. May God continue to anoint all religious around the world, today and everyday, that they all remain faithful to their way of life and that we all might benefit from their vocations.

"Virginity is not espousing a cause; but a person."

Father Raniero Cantalamessa, OFM Cap

Preacher to the Papal Household

Fresh Paint, Fresh Attitude

2009-12-31T20:38:00.005-06:00

I had a very quiet duty day on the ship today, during an already quiet week through a holiday stand-down period. We’ve got a lot of random work to accomplish during this time, including a lot of cleaning, painting, and catching up on admin. I had spent the day doing some organizing, stood the afternoon watch, and relaxed after dinner. I went topside to make some phone calls, wishing family and friends a happy new year. It’s a cold, wet, foggy night, as the blurry haze of the holiday lighting from ships all along the waterfront glowed around me. I went back to my stateroom to watch football when I had a knock on my door. It was one of my sailors, who came excitedly to tell me that he’d finished repainting one of our spaces. I asked immediately if he’d show me his work, and we headed down to the space. As we walked there, he proudly spoke of all the details of his work, and as we got to the shop, it was clean and perfectly painted. He pointed out many particulars of what he did, and how he was careful and paid very close attention to details. His enthusiasm and pride in his work was astounding, and his positive attitude was extremely encouraging. I too was filled with pride to know that he was one of my sailors, who is a particularly hard worker and was taking ownership of his accomplishments. If only everyone took such joy in their work, no matter how mundane or ordinary. It really inspired me, and it was a nice way to end my 2009.

If I’ve learned anything this year, it’s that life is all about the details. While we tend to focus on really “big” moments in our lives as we reminisce about the past, the reality is that most of our lives are spent doing routine, ordinary things. You can even look at the life of our Lord Jesus Christ. He spent the first 30 years of His life doing normal, everyday tasks—it was only the last three years of His life that He began His public ministry and did the many “great things” we read about in the Gospels—preaching, healing, curing, saving. And this is true for us, too. Most of our life is filled with the plain, the normal, the ordinary, the routine. And while those words can have a negative or boring connotation, especially in our society so fascinated and motivated by the extreme and outrageous, it is in these ordinary things of life that we can come face-to-face with virtue, with good works, with holiness, with greatness. As I’ve written about before, there is so much sanctity to be had, right here in the present moment, right here among the ordinary. As a Christian and as a Catholic, I can live each moment, each instance in my life, wholly dedicated to the glory of God. Every day, every action, every moment. And when you live every moment for God’s greater glory, you bring sanctity to even the most ordinary things of life. When you live every moment for God, you bring dignity and worth to every task. Everything is worth doing if it is being done for God—in fact, everything is worth doing well when being done for God. This is what I have come to understand this past year, and this revelation has changed my life.

Praised be Jesus Christ, and to Him be all glory and honor and thanksgiving, for a wonderful and holy 2009. I pray that He continue to reveal His will to me in each moment, that I grow in charity and fidelity, and that He send His abundant blessings upon this new year. Happy 2010!

“Do you really want to be a saint? Carry out the little duty of each moment: do what you ought and put yourself into what you are doing.”
~Saint Josemaria Escriva

Thirsting for Hope

2009-11-29T14:26:00.007-06:00

"The contemporary world needs hope above all..."

Pope Benedict XVI

On a duty day a couple weeks ago, it was a quiet Saturday evening. As I stood watch in the afternoon, I found out that we had a new sailor coming to the ship that evening. And not just any new sailor, but a sailor who will be in my division! Later that evening, I went topside to use my phone when the young sailor came onboard. I watched him walk down the pier, looking with a heart of pride and a hint of anxiety at his first ship. He was in dress blues with a sharp cover. He walked onboard and I met him at the brow, introduced myself as his division officer, and welcomed him aboard. He offered a crisp salute; you could see he was nervous and overwhelmed. I spoke with him for a little while, and then some other sailors took care of getting him set up. As he walked away, I couldn't help but be excited for him.

I stayed outside talking with some people and expressed to them my excitement for our new sailor. They teased me and were surprised how excited I was--I voiced how this sailor was another step toward a renewal and new hope. He was fresh out of boot camp--unaffected by any kind of negativity or bad attitude that can sometimes thrive on the ship. He is the future. I wish all of us kept that fervor and vigor of our first days onboard--eager to learn and with a bit of fear. I think we'd all be better for it!

I reflect on this again, especially now as we celebrate Advent and then the Christmas season--this season in which we are reminded that our God came to be one among us to save us, to be the hope the world needed, then, and forevermore! We each have the opportunity to be the hope the world needs--to be Christ--wherever God has placed you. So as you adore the little Christ child this Christmas, pray that He give your heart a renewal of joy and of hope, that we each might bring Christ to the world; a world thirsting for hope.

Our Single Endeavor

2009-10-19T17:07:00.005-05:00

"My confidence is based in God
who does not need our help for accomplishing His designs.
Our single endeavor should be to give ourselves to the work
and to be faithful to Him."

Saint Isaac Jogues

Happy feast of the North American martyrs! Had to post this quote today, and a great photo of a sunset from the ship a couple weeks ago. Remember--it's all about fidelity!

The Sanctity of the Ordinary

2009-10-10T10:53:00.004-05:00

"God waits for us every day

in all the immense panorama of work.

Understand this well:

there is something holy, something divine,

hidden in the most ordinary situations,

and it is up to each of you to discover it...

Either we learn to find our Lord in ordinary everyday life,

or else we shall never find Him."

Saint Josemaria Escriva

Obedience. This is definitely, in a sense, a vow I have taken as a member of the military. You go where you are told, do what you are told, and that's just the way it is. Even if it is not what you wanted, or not what you think will be ideal, you face what is asked of you and then adapt to make the best of it.

It seems like I've had several moments during these couple of months I've been on active duty where I've thought to myself, wow, I'm finally getting this and finally feeling a sense of comfort and steadiness. Feeling good; feeling comfortable. And, it has been soon after having these feelings that something changes. Something is asked of me, something happens, something comes along that brings me out of that comfort zone I had. You can't question it, you can't argue it. Complaining about it has no benefit. You just say, ok, let's do it. Obedience. Abandonment. Trust. Everyday is filled with these little fiats, these moments where I get to prove my trust in the Lord and echo the words of our Blessed Mother, be it done unto me according to Your word. Comfort? Who needs it. We were not made for comfort, we were made for greatness!

As far as this quote, from Saint Josemaria, this is very much the life I am trying to lead. Never before have I so recognized God in the mundane, the ordinary, the routine aspects of day-to-day life. Never before have I realized the beauty of each individual moment of the day as an opportunity to give glory and praise to God, by the means of your fidelity to living fully your state of life and being Christ to all you meet. It's a challenge, but definitely an adventure.

With joys and with challenges, I am indeed thriving.

Thanks be to God!

The secret to evangelization? Be Christ.

2009-09-18T19:42:00.006-05:00

I'm enjoying a quiet Friday night after being out to sea for the week. It was a great week, a lot of good training and awesome opportunities. It had been a while since we've been out to sea for more than a day, and it really was fun to get out and run the ship as it was meant to be run--at SEA!

There really is something strangely odd about my business. I've noticed that at times, we sailors complain about getting underway (going to sea) and all we can think about or talk about is when we're coming home. But secretly, we all love it. We love going to sea. We love the challenge of never knowing what to expect next. We love the details of our duties and responsibilities. We love the formality and traditions about what we do. And you really see this when we go to sea. People rise to the occasion and face every situation in our operations with professionalism and proficiency. But we don't talk about it in that way. We're just doing our jobs--ain't no thang. And hence, I once again get to experience just how humble my shipmates are. It's never, "wow, look at all the sacrifices I am making." It's more like, "I'm just doing my job." It's astounding. I think anyone who has served in the military understands this. And it is a great blessing in my life, to be surrounded by such people constantly.

I had the unusual grace of getting to go to Mass nearly each day this week. We had a Catholic chaplain ride with us all week, a wonderful priest who is on exchange from the Canadian Army. I've really been trying to bring the Lord more and more into my life on the ship; trying to mesh my spiritual life with my work life. And getting to literally be WITH Him this week in the Mass, on my very ship, was beyond wonderful.

I really see myself as a missionary out here, in a way I didn't really expect. And each day, God is calling me to preach His Truth to everyone I meet. The funny part is, each person and each encounter is incredibly different and requires a totally different manner of evangelization. Some simply need an ear to listen. Some need to be praised in the details. Some need compassion and encouragement amidst a tough environment. Some need just a smile and a greeting as you walk by.

I feel like most of my "preaching" is done without even mentioning the name of Christ. Unconventional? It's seems so, but it's really not. Evangelization, in the purest form, is actually quite simple: be Christ. Christ Himself. As Saint Josemaria said, we must not just be alter Christus, another Christ, but rather, Christ Himself!, ipse Christus! And there en lies my ministry. Be Christ. At all times. To everyone you meet. Easy, right? Only with His constant grace, no matter how unworthy I may be to receive such grace.

I must admit that although I sit this night among the many comforts of my home, in an environment that is quiet and comfortable and away from the stressful pace of the ship (and the rough seas!), part of me already misses being at sea. There's just something about it. It is a life of service, a life of sacrifice, a life of total reliance on God at each moment. Things are a lot simpler out there.

May He mold my heart to live out each moment of my life preaching His Truth. Veritas!

To the honor of Almighty God...

2009-09-10T18:53:00.003-05:00

Some great new photos to share from the First and Final Profession of Vows and Reception to the Habit of the Dominican Sisters of St. Cecilia in Nashville...can you tell by now I'm a big fan? :-) See more photos and news stories from their congregation here.

I included some of my favorites below. Pray for all of these young women, in thanksgiving for their fiat, their yes to God's invitation, and for their perseverance in their vocations!

Driven by Love

2009-09-06T13:10:00.003-05:00

"The young nuns from Nashville don't seem driven by conservative theology or ideology. Instead, they seem driven by a love for God."

Great article from Nashville's The Tennessean newspaper about the Dominican Sisters of St. Cecilia, whose Motherhouse and Novitiate is in Nashville, and whose missions span the U.S. and even Australia.

I love the quote I included above. I think this also applies to our generation in the Church as a whole. The renewal in the Church, coming out of the today's youth, is not just a reaction to ideologies or styles of worship. It's a genuine renewal in the way we are to Love God, and live out the immense Love He has given us--in every facet of our lives. The Springtime is here--and it's all about Love.

For this is My work

2009-07-22T19:29:00.006-05:00

Over two months into my new life as a Naval officer. In a new place, with new people, new surroundings, new expectations. Living on my own. Paying the bills. Coming home not to the college dorm, not to roommates and loud music and homework, but to silence. To dinner waiting to be prepared. To dishes and dirty laundry--all my silent friends. Silence.

And also in my time here, four weeks of time underway at sea. A total opposite lifestyle. People everywhere. Constant community. Hard work, long hours. No bills to worry about. Dinner's ready when you want it. Laundry's taken care of twice a week. A lot of noise and people and opinions...but there is silence. There's some opportunity to recollect. The silence I most enjoy is going outside on the bridgewing at night to look up at the stars, and hear the ship cut through the water. A gentle moon glow. A deep breath of salty air. A moment to remember what I am doing and why I am doing it. It's all for Him.

Commissioning. A great commissioning occurred over 2000 years ago when our Lord sent His twelve apostles to go out and preach to all nations, teaching them all that He taught them. A daunting task for anyone, let alone these ordinary men.

It's no coincidence that the moment you become an officer is known as your "commissioning." My great commissioning happened nearly 12 weeks ago. Our Lord has sent me out to preach, to teach, at a very specific time and in a very particular place. Facing, just like the apostles, an ineptitude for the task and a seemingly great opportunity for failure.

And yet, He has left me with something, just as He left His twelve brothers. He promised to stay with them--with us--even until the end of time. And He is with me. Even when I don't feel Him, even when I think I am failing Him, even when the task seems far beyond what I am capable of. He is there. And this is His work.

"Why are you troubled, you coward?

Go on and I will help you--for this is My work and not yours."

~Our Lord, speaking to Saint Camillus de Lellis

More blogging to come?

2009-05-20T12:53:00.003-05:00

Ok, another little change to the theme of the blog--a new header, signifying the new things ahead of me in my life and hence new things I will be blogging about. Writing about my new life in the Navy, and the many many experiences to come, while being able to share it with my friends back home. So enjoy. I pray the Lord use it all however He desires as I spend these last days in preparation to set out into the deep!

The greatest Love story of all time...

2009-04-11T15:16:00.003-05:00

"At the very heart of the vocation to religious life

is the encounter of the person of Jesus Christ.

It's not a matter of goals, or ideals,

or imitation of the Sisters you've come to know;

it's a matter of being drawn in

to the greatest Love story of all time."

~Father James Cuddy, O.P.

First the renewal, then the aggiornamento

2009-03-31T13:42:00.006-05:00

One of my heroes and guiding lights is Mother Marie William MacGregor, OP, who was the Mother General of the Dominican Sisters of St. Cecilia (Nashville Dominicans) from 1964-1976, during a difficult time in the Church, when there was much confusion following Vatican II. Many in the Church, from the average parish to the biggest religious congregations, began to abandon their traditional way of life for the sake of "modernization." Ancient practices were abandoned, teaching the fullness of the faith was exchanged with a watered-down mess, and now an entire generation of Catholics is under-Catechized and uninterested in the Church.

Many argue that religion is no longer pertinent. Some can't handle that people who consider themselves religious are indeed imperfect. Others don't realize that there is a difference between freedom and license. Our culture is screaming for Hope. They are thirsting for Truth--and looking in all the wrong places.

There are a "rebellious few" out there who know and love the fullness of Truth, of Beauty, of Goodness, found only in the Person of Jesus Christ and His Spouse, the Church, of whom He gave His life for. We desire all to know this fullness. We desire to be the tip-of-the-spear leading our generation to the "Springtime of the Church" which Pope John Paul II preached about. And it is coming. Do you feel it?

But, before we run off to conquer the world with Love, we must look at our own hearts. Have we let Him fully conquer ours first? Have we really surrendered all to Him, that all the holy work we desire to do is truly His work and nothing of our own? If we desire to preach and love through the New Evangelization, have we allowed that new evangelization to constantly renew our hearts?

"First the renewal, and then the aggiornamento..." were the words of Mother Marie William to her congregation as they set out to serve the post-Vatican II Church. She understood that the most important thing to face the perils of the quickly-changing culture was to first to renew your own heart and commitment to Christ, then adapt to the times.

Pope Paul VI said this: "Modern man is more willing to listen to witnesses than to teachers. If they do listen to teachers, it is because they are witnesses. In short, be the witnesses of sanctity." For us to be witnesses, and hence bring our generation to Love, we must be always renewing our hearts and adapting. To live is to change, to be perfect is to change often.

As we face the depravity of the world, may we find our Hope in the Divinity that dwells within each of us. May we constantly, daily, in all things, renew our hearts with the Love of Christ, that we might be always be ready to share our reason for hope--which is something our culture is, quite literally, dying for. Only then can we be the change the world needs.

"We wish to start Heaven here on earth..."

2008-12-20T14:15:00.002-06:00

Salt+Light TV, the Catholic TV network of Canada, has spent the past year and a half working on a documentary of the life of the Dominican Sisters of Saint Cecilia, our beloved Nashville Dominicans. They wrapped up filming this fall, and the final 55-min piece is scheduled to air in January. They have a beautiful trailer posted on their website...

And here are some of my favorite quotes...

"They're looking at leaving behind good things; the good and beauty of married life and parenthood, and to see, can I be a spouse to Christ; and yet, to say, I'll leave those behind for the greater good of Christ alone, where He becomes my everything."

"If you think about it, all people are called, ultimately, to live totally united to Christ; and most people will do so in Heaven. We wish to start heaven here on earth."

"The vocation to the religious life is a call to love Christ as our Spouse, and our neighbor as He loves them. It's magnificent. He gives us the grace to love, and we have to remain faithful to that grace."

Saint Cecilia, wise, prudent, and faithful virgin, pray for us!

Thy Kingdom Come

2008-11-12T11:45:00.004-06:00

"In our present political climate it would be very easy to somehow link our courage and hopefulness to the outcome of political endeavors. It would be easy to position our hope in some kind of political strategy and call for greater courage in fostering that particular strategy.

The fact that whatever kind of kingdom we manage to build here will always be an imperfect kingdom helps us keep our focus on that in which and for which we ultimately hope, a kingdom of God in eternity."

~Bishop Robert Vasa of the Diocese of Baker, Oregon

This is so well said. Nothing can or should steal away our hope. We are a people of Hope, we are a people of Christ. As our Holy Father has said, people who have Hope live differently. And that is our call--and quite honestly, always has been our call. Living the Christian life, authentically, is a radical call to live the gospel; and in our society, that is living quite differently. Rejoice. Pray. Have Hope. This is our call!

And might I add--I got to spend time with Bishop Vasa at World Youth Day--LEGIT.

VOTE LIFE

2008-11-04T08:48:00.004-06:00

50 million dead.

1/3 of our generation killed.

The greatest holocaust in history.

VOTE LIFE

Everything you hold sacred...

2008-09-19T21:39:00.005-05:00

Another video by Grassroots, the folks who brought you "Fishers of

Men," "God in the Streets of New York," etc. This is really moving,

and so true. We have such a big job this election.

May Truth prevail!

One Long Act of Love

2008-09-02T22:21:00.003-05:00

"May my life be a continual prayer,

one long act of love.

May nothing be able to distract me from You.

I would like so much, O my Master,

to live with You in silence.

But what I love above all is to do Your will,

and since You still want me to be in the world,

I submit with all my heart for love of You.

I offer to You the cell of my heart;

may it be Your little Bethany.

Come to rest there.

I love you so."

~Blessed Elizabeth of the Trinity

An Intense Conviction

2008-08-18T18:34:00.000-05:00

"It wasn't like a voice from the sky.

But it was like an intense conviction of what I was made for."

~A Dominican Sister

on knowing her vocation

I Have My Mission

2008-08-17T23:00:00.002-05:00

God has created me to do Him some definite service; He has committed some work to me which He has not committed to another. I have my mission--I may never know it in this life, but I shall be told it in the next. I am a link in the chain, a bond of connection between persons. He has not created me for naught. I shall do good, I shall do His work; I shall be an angel of peace, a preacher of truth in my own place while not intending it, if I do but keep His commandments and serve Him in my calling.

Therefore, my God, I will put myself without reserve into Your hands. What have I in heaven, and apart from you what do I want upon earth? My flesh and my heart fail, God is the God of my heart, and my portion forever. Amen.

~John Henry Cardinal Newman

Under Construction...

2008-08-03T13:00:00.000-05:00

After a summertime blogging hiatus, I've decided to start a blog update/facelift/renewal. Father Baker and the Vandy+Catholic blog is rocking, and I feel like it might be time to step up my game. All I've changed so far is the name and header, as you can see. Bear with me as I wait for inspiration!

"Believe in the whisperings of God in your own heart."

~Blessed Mary MacKillop

Tears of the Saints

2008-05-18T23:08:00.000-05:00

My discovery of a great new band and one of their incredible songs has beautifully coincided with a huge event in my family's life. My grandmother, in her 70s, who was married to my grandfather, a devout Catholic, for over 50 years, and who raised 4 wonderful Catholic children, this past week came home and was fully received into the One, Holy, Apostolic Church. She had been thinking about converting for a long time, but just never really did. With much joy, my family converged on the Immaculate Heart of Mary Church in tiny Greenwood, Mississippi in the heart of the Delta last weekend to witness her reception. It was beautiful. I couldn't hold back the tears. This woman, my wonderful grandmother, whom I have adored for so long for her strength and ability to unite our family, for her real understanding of motherhood, was home. And she was now united to me and my family in a new and profoundly beautiful way--through the Holy Eucharist. Indeed, things will never be the same. At that moment, I already felt closer to her, as she received the Eucharist for the first time. Hearts united. The beautiful collision, where depravity meets divinity. Oneness. Truth. Beauty. Love.

The band is Leeland. Their song is "Tears of the Saints."

there are tears from the saints

for the lost and unsaved

we're crying for them, come back home

and all Your children will stretch out their hands

and pick up the crippled man

Father, we will lead them home

I can't help but think on these words. What does that look like? Tears of the saints? To think of the tears the saints in heaven shed over our depraved world. The sorrow they feel for the lost, for the weary, for those who do not know real Love. The sadness when God's own children on earth aren't helping those lost. Or when we, His children, turn from Him.

Yet, at the same time, they also can shed tears of joy. I know they were last Sunday as my grandmother came home. Heaven greeting earth in a holy kiss in the Mass, as she encountered heaven on earth for the first time in her life. Tears of the saints, heaven rejoicing, as she entered into the fullness of Truth and Love. If my feeble little heart shed tears at that moment, there is no doubt that the pure hearts of heaven were, too.

"There will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous people who have no need of repentance."

~Luke 15:7

Our Sweet Christ on Earth

2008-05-05T18:59:00.000-05:00

This April, several students from Vandy+Catholic went on a mini-pilgrimage to Washington, D.C. and New York City to see our Holy Father, Pope Benedict XVI, during his historic Apostolic journey to the United States. Thanks to some dedicated planners and luck with getting tickets, we had the privilege to send students to the Papal Mass at Nationals Stadium in D.C. and the Youth Rally at St. Joseph Seminary in Yonkers, NY. We quickly got used to intricate travel plans, waiting in line, standing for hours outside in the sun, getting lost on the subway—all your classic assets of a true pilgrimage!

Having been personally present at the Youth Rally, it was so fun to travel with some of my closest friends, all leading up to an absolutely incredible encounter with the Vicar of Christ on earth, Pope Benedict XVI. There were two amazing things about this day. First: how truly unbelievable it was to be in presence of "our sweet Christ on earth," as St. Catherine of Siena called him. His presence! You could feel the hope of Christ pouring from his heart as he spoke, as he smiled, as he laughed, looking out on us like a proud grandfather as we screamed "Benedetto!" and "we love you Papa!" with great affection to our Chief Shepherd. The Holy Father's words penetrated so deeply into my soul, calling us to a life of "opting-in" through the authentic freedom bestowed upon us by Truth Himself: the Lord Jesus Christ, that we might "be drawn into Christ's very being for others." Pope Benedict spoke to us cor ad cor loquitur, heart speaks to heart. It was profoundly intimate.

Yet, the other wondrous thing about the day was to be in community, among 30,000 of my generation, who were inflamed with love for Christ and His Church—a generation tired of a watered-down, relativistic view of faith and of Catholicism; a generation ready to rise up, stand for Truth, and tell the world the reason for the hope that is within us. Present at the rally were hundreds of America's seminarians, our future priests: all young, excited, and ready to change the world. Most of them were in cassocks, even in the intense heat of the day. We asked one if he was hot in his cassock; he replied that he was offering his discomfort to the Holy Father! It was such a beautiful example of the future of our Church, ready to offer our every detail of our lives for our Dear Lord and the benefit of His Kingdom.

It was a great joy to be among the Mystical Body of Christ: both in its members of our fired-up generation and the Vicar of its Head, our dear Papa!

"Dear friends, truth is not an imposition. Nor is it simply a set of rules. It is a discovery of the One who never fails us; the One whom we can always trust. In seeking truth we come to live by belief because ultimately truth is a person: Jesus Christ. That is why authentic freedom is not an opting out. It is an opting in; nothing less than letting go of self and allowing oneself to be drawn into Christ’s very being for others."
~Pope Benedict XVI

An Obvious Response of Love

2008-03-24T00:18:00.000-05:00

"Those who have been given the priceless gift of following the Lord Jesus more closely consider it obvious that He can and must be loved with an undivided heart, that one can devote to Him one's whole life. The precious ointment poured out as a pure act of love is a sign of unbounded generosity. From such a life 'poured out' without reserve there spreads a fragrance which fills the whole house. What in people's eyes can seem a waste is for the individuals captivated in the depths of their heart by the beauty and goodness of the Lord, an obvious response of love, a joyful expression of gratitude for having been admitted in a unique way to the knowledge of the Son and to a sharing in His divine mission in the world."

~Pope John Paul II, Vita Consecrata #104

Christ is risen!
He is risen indeed, alleluia!

Sacrifice and Joy

2008-02-09T22:26:00.000-06:00

More news from my favorite religious order that I just had to share. PBS recently filmed and interviewed with the Dominican Sisters of St. Cecilia, and put together this great video. Here are some of my favorite quotes from the Sisters.

"I finished high school, I went to college in Washington, DC for four years, and I came up against relativism: the idea that we can't -- people said that we couldn't know what was good, what was bad, what was true. So I really began questioning where truth comes from. Where does goodness come from? I know I have values. Who gives them to me? And so between that moment and here, it was a process of, "This is scary, I don't understand this. I don't see why I would be called. How can I be called? I am so normal."

"When you have fallen in love with God, everything doesn't seem quite so important anymore because God, the creator of the world, has asked you to be his bride. No, I will not be having sex. No, I will not be having children. No, I will not be marrying a spouse. But my very body and blood is united to God in a way that isn't offered to everyone in the world."

"With sacrifice can come great joy. We know that sacrificing is not opposed to being happy. In fact, it can be our path to happiness. So sadness, no; sacrifice, yes."

Caught in His Gaze

2008-01-17T16:33:00.000-06:00

To be caught in the gaze of our Lord. Is this possible? We so constantly go through our lives thinking we're just always looking up towards Him, but do we ever think that He looks upon us with even more love? We encounter this in Scripture in a very beautiful way in the parable of of the rich man, specifically in St. Mark's Gospel. The words drip beauty and really show a powerful aspect of our Lord's ministry here on earth. As the young man was asking Jesus what he must do to inherit eternal life, the response of Christ, before he utters any words, is this:

Jesus, looking at him, loved him.

What that gaze must have felt like. The gaze of the Word made flesh, the gaze of Love itself; pouring over you and consuming you. Can we encounter this now? Can we sit in the gaze of Jesus? Of course. Make a holy hour with the Blessed Sacrament, and just sit, and look. Be still. Just BE with Him; that gaze, which has been called the greatest miracle of all, will envelop your whole self.

Our eyes are small, but they can see the beauty of His majesty, no matter if we think we can contain it. His eyes, though, see infinitely, into the depths of our souls. And He looks upon us with such love. May that gaze continuously take hold of us; the gaze of the Almighty yet Humble, the Just yet Merciful, our Never-Changing and Everlasting Beloved.

Let His gaze capture your heart. Let His gaze heal your wounds. Let His gaze bring you the peace you are searching for. How we long to rest in His gaze for all time!

As a bridegroom calls his bride, let Jesus tell you,

How beautiful you are, show me your face, let me hear your voice.

And may we be captured by Him, and quickly respond,

I looked for You, the one my heart loves
I looked for You, but did not find You
Searched through the night until I rested in Your sight
Now I will never let You go.

"What happiness do we not feel in the presence of God, when we find ourselves alone at His feet, before the Holy Tabernacle! 'Come, my soul, redouble your ardor! You are here alone to adore your God! His look rests on you alone!"
~St. John Vianney

Breath of Heaven, Hold Me Together

2007-12-18T09:25:00.000-06:00

Advent is quickly drawing to a close as Christmas approaches in just a short week. Our Gospel readings are focusing less on the second coming and more on this first coming, as we now must be patient, waiting in silent prayer for the fulfillment of God's plan. And what a truth that is for us in our lives. We sit and wait, listening to God tug on our hearts. But the fulfillment of those plans do not always happen immediately. We must constantly unite ourselves with our Blessed Mother, as she waited, scared but patient, lonely but full of hope, feeling unworthy but abandoning herself to His plan. In this last week before Christmas, let us truly be one with our Mother, waiting in hopeful prayer for His plan to be fulfilled--both for His birth at Christmas and in each of our lives.

There's a beautiful song illustrating this truth, "Breath of Heaven" by Amy Grant. I heard it for the first time a couple weeks ago, and it has quickly become one of my favorites.

I have traveled many moonless nights
Cold and weary with a babe inside
And I wonder what I've done
Holy Father, You have come
And chosen me now, to carry Your Son

I am waiting in a silent prayer
I am frightened by the load I bear
In a world as cold as stone
Must I walk this path alone?
Be with me now, be with me now

Breath of Heaven, hold me together
Be forever near me, Breath of Heaven
Breath of Heaven, lighten my darkness
Pour over me Your holiness, for You are holy
Breath of Heaven

Do you wonder as you watch my face
If a wiser one should have had my place
But I offer all I am
For the mercy of Your plan
Help me be strong, help me be, help me

"The angel Gabriel said, 'Hail, full of grace, the Lord is with you.' But she was greatly troubled at what was said and pondered what sort of greeting this might be. Then the angel said, 'Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God."
~Luke 1:28-30

The Dawn of Advent

2007-12-06T13:35:00.000-06:00

Well, happy new year and happy Advent! (I know, a couple days late) What a beautiful time of year. The Church's new year, time to start fresh. It's funny how toward the end of the season of Ordinary Time, many readings in Mass were concerned with the "end of time," the second coming of Christ. And here as we begin Advent, we continue to hear about the coming of Jesus, as we did last Sunday, with being cautioned to "be ready" for Him, for we know not at what hour He will come. As this speaks of the second coming, we also spend Advent preparing to remember His first coming, when a young girl answered "yes" to the call of God, and the Word became flesh, and dwelt among us. The words "come, Lord Jesus!" echo in the hearts of all Christians in this season, as we await Christmas, as well as our Lord's second coming in glory.

And as we listen and reflect on these Gospels concerned with His coming, do we think about the "coming" of Christ we can witness each and every day? Do we stop and think of how God answers our prayer of "come, Lord Jesus" all over the world at every hour of the day at every single Mass, when Heaven kisses earth and the Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity of our Lord becomes incarnate before our very eyes? Does this perpetual coming of our Lord become redundant or routine? Let this time of Advent be a time for us to renew our love for the Mass and the Eucharist, where we can celebrate "Christmas" every day; a celebration of our Lord dwelling among us. Let us not forget that the glory of it all is the He IS here. Just as He promised. What a faithful God we have!

And, to echo the chillingly inspiring end to Fr. Baker's homily last Sunday,
GOD IS WITH US!!

"All the love in the world is right here among us."
~David Crowder

Newsworthy Nashville Dominicans

2007-11-25T23:38:00.001-06:00

So as you might have figured out by now, I am enamored with the Dominican Sisters of St. Cecilia, aka the Nashville Dominicans, and am blessed to know them. They've been in the news quite a bit this year, and most recently in an article by the Washington Post. I wanted to make sure you're all aware of a religious order at the "tip of the spear" in the New Evangelization. Holiness is HERE!

Washington Post Article
Sydney Morning Herald
Salt+Light TV Canada
Catholic News Service
Tennessee Register
The Boston Globe
Facebook Group/Fanclub

Pray for this order and for a renewal of consecrated life in America and the world. Pray for those discerning a call, that they might have the courage to stand up against the culture of death to give their lives entirely to Christ for the sake of the Kingdom.

"The Church is alive. And the Church is young."
~Pope Benedict XVI

Thankful to be Catholic

2007-11-22T00:57:00.000-06:00

I'm spending Thanksgiving with my family in New Orleans, my hometown. I mean, I was baptized here, this is where it all began! As with most traveling, I used MassTimes.org to find daily Masses to go to while I'm here. Typing in my grandmother's zip code, it came up with nearly 20 daily Masses within just a couple of miles. Now granted, I am in a very Catholic place here in southeastern Louisiana, but still. The Catholic Church. Universal. One, Holy, and Apostolic! It blows my mind sometimes. My Lord is here. He is here, in New Orleans, just the same as He is in Nashville, or any other tabernacle all over the world. As it says above the tabernacle in the Chapel at the St. Cecilia Motherhouse, "Here God dwells among men." Such beauty; our Lord is forever with us until the end of time--just as He promised us.

Today, quite simply, I stop a minute and realize how thankful I am to be Catholic. To know that the keys of the kingdom were laid in dear St. Peter's hands, and have been passed from generation to generation through the Papacy. To know that these popes have commissioned bishops, in line with the Apostles themselves, to consecrate priests to serve the kingdom and provide the Sacraments to the people. And of course, in the line of Melchizedek, to continue to offer the eternal sacrifice in the Holy Mass, the memorial of the Last Supper, where we encounter the perpetually incarnate Christ in the Holy Eucharist: body, blood, soul, and divinity.

There is such an incredible comfort knowing that I don't have to church-hop or get the right pastor to know the Truth. I can go to any Catholic Church all over the world and encounter Truth face to face. And even then, it is no more work on my part to know Him than quieting my heart and listening to Truth speak to me, in Its mere presence. As St. Teresa of the Andes once said on prayer, "my heart can say nothing; I can only adore."

Among the gifts of the Church, we also have the Communion of Saints, celebrating all those in Heaven, especially those recognized for their work on earth. Today is the feast day of Saint Cecilia, one of the early martyrs. Her story deserves its own post, which might come later. Until then: Saint Cecilia, pray for us!

Praised be Jesus Christ and His Holy Church!

"I will go peaceably and firmly to the Catholic Church: for if Faith is so important to our salvation, I will seek where true Faith first began, seek it among those who received it from God Himself."
~St. Elizabeth Ann Seton

For all my life...

2007-11-07T22:13:00.000-06:00

I found a great article recently written by a man who spent some of this summer filming the Dominican Sisters of St. Cecilia here in Nashville for a video they are making. He got to attend some of their summer ceremonies, including the Final Profession of Vows. Below is an excerpt from his article:

Sunday was the Mass for the Rite of Perpetual Religious Profession. This was when 11 Sisters were going to take final vows – it was their wedding day! I was impressed as I panned the camera across the row of Sisters making their final vows. Some looked nervous, some looked calm, and others looked in ecstasy; eyes rolled up to the crucifix that hung above the altar of St. Henry's Church.

As a cameraman you're always looking for an interesting picture composition – be it lighting, framing, emotion, etc. I was not disappointed during the Mass! I think it was the third Sister to make her profession. I had a tight shot on her hand as she placed it on the bible and began her profession of vows.

"To the honour of Almighty God and under the protection of the Blessed Virgin Mary and of our Holy Father Saint Dominic, I make to God in your hands, Reverend Sister…"

And then I heard her voice crack.

I didn't even look up, but immediately re-framed to the Sisters face, checking to make sure it was in focus, and locking off my camera in a tight close-up.

Sister composed herself.

"…I make to God in your hands, Reverend Sister Ann Marie, Prioress General, the simple vows…."

She was struggling to continue.

"… of poverty, chastity, and obedience for all my life…"

Tears were welling up in her eyes.

"…according to the Rule of Saint Augustine…"

Tears were rolling down her cheeks at this point.

"….and the Constitutions of the Dominican Sisters of this Congregation of Saint Cecilia."

Poor Sister offered an embarrassed smile to Mother Ann Marie and apologized for being overcome by emotion.

If everything else failed during my trip, I would have been satisfied just to have filmed that moment. It was incredibly touching. It was beautiful beyond words. It was genuine emotion that couldn't help but pierce your soul. It wasn't a Sister shedding tears of regret, but it was a Sister shedding tears of love.

Absolutely stunning. I just finished reading Fr. Thomas Dubay's book "...and You are Christ's" about the Charism of Virginity and the Celibate Life in the Church. These women are truly a witness to the love we all hope to experience in Heaven--some just get called to live this love sooner than others.

The springtime of the Church is upon us, and women like the Nashville Dominicans are living symbols of that. Praised be Jesus Christ!

"Eternal God, receive the sacrifice of my life for Your Church. Accept my heart and impress upon it the face of Your Son."
~St. Catherine of Siena

Thanks for the Sufferings

2007-10-16T01:28:00.001-05:00

So school is absolutely crazy. I've been in midterms for the past three weeks. Definitely the most intense semester academically I've faced yet. And honestly--the most intense spiritually as well. But I can't complain about that.

The next three weekends are going to blow my mind with retreats, pilgrimages, staying in convents and visiting monasteries and shrines...plus my best friend from high school is coming into town. Things are looking up.

In Father Baker's homily yesterday, he spoke a lot about giving thanks to God. He said that after a good day where nothing was difficult or nothing went wrong that St. Josemaria Escriva would ask God what he did wrong that day, why he wasn't given any crosses, why he wasn't asked to imitate Christ. Let us thank God each day we are given to suffer, for it is in that way we are best united with our Beloved.

"Place Christ at the heart of all human activities by means of work that is sanctified, and sanctifies both the doer and those for whom it is done."
~St. Josemaria Escriva

Another Sign of Brilliance

2007-09-11T13:24:00.000-05:00

David Crowder, a revolutionary in the Christian music world, has added to his ingenuity. Thanks to a modification made by his drummer, David plays some of his songs using a Guitar Hero controller. Each of the five buttons plays a different chord, and the stum key works the same. An added bonus: the "Select" button plays the ring from the original Nintendo Entertainment System game "Super Mario Bros."

Don't believe me? Check out this video:

"Those who sing pray twice, those who rock pray thrice!"
~Lifeteen phrase

Falling in Love...

2007-09-02T23:51:00.000-05:00

I find myself falling more and more in love each day. Words cannot describe it. Prayers cannot lift it high enough. Only being--gazing, in awe of my Beloved, can I comprehend the power and might yet the gentleness and humility. The Uncreated One. The Everlasting. The Beautiful One.

Your will above all else, my purpose remains
The art of losing myself in bringing You praise
Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame

In my heart and my soul, Lord I give You control
Consume me from the inside out
Lord let justice and praise become my embrace
To love You from the inside out

He gives me a clean heart, a purified soul, washed in the blood of the Lamb and made to be white as snow through the unending mercies of our Beloved. He loves me too. I'm falling in love.

"Late have I loved you, O Beauty ever ancient, ever new, late have I loved you. You called, you shouted, and you shattered my deafness."
~St. Augustine

Restless Hearts

2007-08-28T10:35:00.000-05:00

Today we celebrate the Feast of St. Augustine, a Bishop and Doctor of the Church. Raised a Christian, Augustine lost his faith and led a wild life. After living with a woman for many years, having a son, and dabbling in heresy, he was converted by the prayers of his mother, St. Monica (whose feast we celebrated yesterday) and help from St. Ambrose. He sold his property, gave the proceeds to the poor, and founded a monastery.

I ask for the intercession of St. Augustine upon all those young people who might have lost their faith. As St. Paul writes in his letter to the Romans:

You know the time; it is the hour now for you to awake from sleep. For our salvation is nearer now than when we first believed; the night is advanced, the day is at hand.

For truly, we know not what peace is until our souls rest in the hands of God. No pursuits of the world can fill our inherent desires for something greater. St. Augustine learned this, and then turned his heart to what is greater. Let us all follow his lead!

"Our hearts were made for You, O Lord, and they are restless
until they rest in you."
~St. Augustine of Hippo

Nashville: Rome of the South!

2007-08-08T00:28:00.000-05:00

The "Bible Belt" has been rocked today by the One, Holy, Apostolic Church!

The Knights of Columbus are celebrating their 125th Supreme Convention at Opryland in Nashville, Tennessee! There thousands of Catholics converging on Nashville over these next three days. Among them are His Eminence Cardinal Bertone, the Vatican Secretary of State, who is second in power to the Holy Father, Pope Benedict XVI. The Cardinal, along with one hundred Bishops and Cardinals and at least that many priests, celebrated an opening Mass for the convention this morning, taking place at the famous Opryland Hotel and Convention Center in Nashville.

Unfortunately, I'm not in Nashville right now to be able to experience it as the "Rome of the South" right now, but thanks to technology with coverage on EWTN, I've gotten to witness everything, including seeing several of our seminarians serving Cardinal Bertone, and Mother Ann Marie and Sister Marie Dominic from the Nashville Dominicans! I think my parents think I'm crazy for watching this on TV and getting so excited...

I think this points out the beautiful universality of the Catholic Church, as our humble little city of Nashville could be the place where Knights and their families, Cardinals, Bishops, and priests from all over the world, to share what makes us one--our Church, instituted by Christ, kept strong by His Presence in the Eucharist.

During the homily at the Opening Mass, which Cardinal Bertone gave in Italian (hence everyone with translators). Notice the two Dominicans of St. Cecilia, Sister Marie Dominic and Mother Ann Marie!!

Praised be Jesus Christ, now and forever!

"It is not only priests and religious who have a vocation, but it every Christian is called by Christ to carry out a particular mission in the Church."
~Cardinal Bertone

Face to Face with Divinity

2007-08-06T19:49:00.001-05:00

Today, we celebrate the Feast of the Transfiguration, where Christ's Divinity was revealed to His apostles on Mount Tabor. They hear the words of God the Father declare, This is my Son, my beloved, with whom I am well pleased. Divinity collided with humanity that day--or at least, humanity truly realized the Divinity that was dwelling among them.

Have you ever considered how we can enounter the Transfiguration in our lives? Where do heaven and earth collide, where the mortal encounter the Divine? As Saint Peter wrote in today's second reading, "we had been eyewitnesses of His majesty." (2 Peter 1:16) Do we not eyewitness the majesty and glory of the Lord as we Eucharistically commune with Him in the Holy Mass? We have the opportunity everyday to witness the Transfiguration on altars all around the world through the miracle of transubstatiation in the Holy Eucharist.

Let us never take lightly the gift our Lord has left us in the Mass to see His face. May we always remember this: "We posses the prophetic message. You will do well to be attentive to it, as to a lamp shining in a dark place, until the day dawns and the morning star rises in your hearts." (2 Peter 1:19)

I felt today's Feast would be an appropriate occasion to post this little video I made highlighting the "Beautiful Collision" in the Holy Mass.

"Everything in man should halt in awe. Let all the world quake and let Heaven exult when Christ, Son of the Living God, is there on the altar."
~St. Francis of Assisi

A Little Facelift

2007-08-05T23:47:00.001-05:00

So you might notice a few changes around the place. There's a fancy new heading, featuring the Cross of San Damiano and the logo of the Order of Preachers, meaning "to praise, to bless, to preach." Wow, I love Dominicans! So there's that, along with some other goodies, including my musical influences on the sidebar. Also take note of a new link, my friend Michael Avery's blog, I Want You to Arise with Me. Check it.

So I'm reading Pope Benedict's new book, Jesus of Nazareth, and am just blown away. How blessed we are to have such a brilliant man leading our flock. I'd totally recommend you read it. If you just can't wait and want to be immersed in his incredible knowledge, check out his writings on the Vatican website.

A young Father Joseph Ratzinger as a theology professor
at the University of Regensburg in Germany.

"In carrying out his ministry, the new Pope knows that his task is to make Christ's light shine out before the men and women of today: not his own light, but Christ's."
~Pope Benedict XVI

The Cure of Ars

2007-08-04T13:33:00.000-05:00

Today we celebrate the feast day of Saint John Vianney, a parish priest from France. He is known for spending hours in the confessional each day for his parishoners, and took the tiny town of Ars from a parish with poor attendance to a place where 20,000 pilgrims visit each year. He was known for having the gifts of discernment of spirits, prophecy, hidden knowledge, and working miracles. St. John Vianney, ora pro nobis!

"I tell you that you have less to suffer in following the Cross than serving the world and its pleasures."
~St. John Vianney

Where to Begin?

2007-08-04T02:40:00.000-05:00

I've finally returned home after over two months of traveling. God has been moving so intensely in my heart throughout each step of the summer, and I'm overwhelmed as to what to write next.

Stay tuned for a post on my most recent travels in the beautiful country of Honduras.

"Lord, you know everything. You know that I love you."
~St. Peter, John 21:17

Summorum Pontificum

2007-07-06T19:44:00.000-05:00

The Vatican will soon be releasing the Holy Father's long-awaited "Motu Propio" document, now known to be entitled Summorum Pontificum, concerning the Holy Mass. It is set to be officially released at 12 noon in Rome on 7 July, which is 5 am CST.

Get excited!

"The greatness of the liturgy depends on its unspontaneity."
~Pope Benedict XVI

Stars and the Land Down Under

2007-06-28T18:41:00.001-05:00

Post-Dated:
10 JUN 2007. Off the Coast of Australia.

What a whirlwind the past few days has been! One night earlier this week, I spent twilight and evening out on one of the weatherdecks watching the stars. The darkness was overwhelming. But, once my eyes got adjusted, I looked up and saw the beauty of literally thousands of stars. Each seemed to have its own aura around it, as if they were candles burning in the sky. And I saw a shooting star! Over the horizon, I watched the moon rise with its orange glow. It was very windy that night. I just sat back against the bulkhead, tilted my head up, gazing towards the Heavens, feeling the nighttime breeze against my face, just taking it all in. That evening reminded me of these lyrics from Christian musicians David Crowder Band:

“Stars” by David Crowder Band

You should see the stars tonight, how they shimmer and shine so bright
Against the black, they look so white, coming down from such a height
To reach me now, reach me now

You should see the moon in flight, cut across a misty night
Softly dancing in sunshine, reflections of its light
Reach me now, they reach me now

You should hear the angels sing, all gathered round our King
More beautiful than you could dream, I’ve been quietly listening
I can hear them now, I hear them now

How could such a King shine His light on me? And make everything beautiful?
Cause I’ve got nothing of my own to give to You
But this light that shines on me, shines on you
And makes everything beautiful again

We pulled into port in Brisbane, Australia in the middle of the week and spent four days in port. It was an incredible adventure! I spent the first two days surfing the beaches of the Gold Coast, about an hour from Brisbane. Several of us Midshipmen stayed at a hostel in the city and met other travelers and backpackers from all over the world. I have experienced over the port visit such incredible facets of the human experience: meeting and interacting with other travelers and sailors and Marines from our ship, experiencing a new country and a new culture, being adventurous and unafraid to try something new, etc. I absolutely love the Australian people, such a positive, warm and welcoming country. I cannot wait to return here for World Youth Day next year!

I’ll now spend the next ten days or so at sea off the coast participating in an amphibious training operation called Talisman Saber with other allied militaries. I’m not exactly sure when I’ll be returning to the States since we are in the middle of this training environment, but it shouldn’t be longer than two more weeks. Today I’ve felt a little homesick, but I received some holy encouragement and am feeling much better. I think of you all everyday and look forward to seeing you all again. Praised be Jesus Christ for keeping us all united in the Mystical Body of Christ!

“How very easy it is to become holy; all that is needed is a bit of good will. If Jesus sees this little bit of good will in the soul, He hurries to give Himself to the soul, and nothing can stop Him, neither shortcomings nor falls—absolutely nothing. Jesus is anxious to help that soul, and if it is faithful to this grace from God, it can very soon attain the highest holiness possible.”
~St. Maria Faustina

Guam, Mass, and Crossing the Equator

2007-06-28T18:35:00.000-05:00

Post-Dated:
31 MAY 2007. One hour after crossing the equator.

What an exciting past couple of days I’ve had. The week started with a very brief port call in Guam on Monday. We spent about five hours at the pier, refueling and getting supplies. I spent that day as a Food Service Assistant, working in the galley, serving “chow” to over 500 sailors and Marines onboard. It was a long day that began at 0445, and I was on my feet all day. It was fun, though, as it game me a good mission and kept me very busy! Guam looked beautiful, a lot like Hawaii. I wish we could have stayed longer!

Tuesday, we did the first flight operations of the cruise. A ship traveling with us is basically a small aircraft carrier, so one of its helicopters was practicing touch-and-go landings on our flight deck. I got to suit up with some of the crewmen and stand about 20 feet away as a CH-46 Sea Knight helicopter (what you might know as a “Chinook”) landed and took off. The wind produced by the rotors just about blew me over!

Wednesday morning we had some heavier seas than we’d seen. During “Quarters” when we all gather in the morning to report in for the day, our Division Senior Chief mentioned that they might be flying over a Catholic chaplain from another ship we are traveling with. Needless to say, I was thrilled! That afternoon, we had a “General Quarters” drill, which basically simulated a missile attack or other casualties on the ship. There are so many steps involved in trying to save the ship is there was ever a fire or flooding!

Flight ops were going on in the middle of the madness of the drill, and among all the calls over the 1MC of casualties, there was a call of ringing the ships bells, then “Commander, United States Navy, arriving.” This is a time-honored tradition in the Navy that when a high-ranking officer boards or departs a ship, the ships bell is rung a certain number of times, and his arrival or departure is announced. I knew it had to be the chaplain landing onboard! Sure enough, just as they were securing the drill, they announced that a Catholic Mass was going to be held in one of the crew lounges. I practically ran there! The chaplain was great, but sadly I cannot remember his name. Under his vestments, he wore a flight suit and combat boots! Mass was very simple and beautiful. After everything was over, the chaplain and his assistants packed up and headed out to the flight deck and the helicopter to move to the next ship. What an incredible call, to be a military chaplain! I don’t think I’ve felt more at home this entire trip than I did in the Mass. The chaplain had good advice in his homily, which I would summarize in this quote from St. Maria Faustina, “I must not let myself become absorbed in the whirl of work, but take a break to look up to Heaven.”

Wednesday night brought the beginning of another time-honored navy tradition, the “Crossing the Line” ceremony, as we would cross the Equator the next day. It started Wednesday evening, then continued early Thursday morning. Feel free to Google it to read more about the tradition. So, after surviving the ceremony and crossing the line, I’m not a proud and honorable “Shellback!” We ended up actually crossing the Equator that afternoon. Kind of a cool thing, my first time in the southern hemisphere!

Thursday, I spent the early evening outside on one of the upper decks, watching the sunset over the Pacific, writing, and thinking of all my family and friends back home. Such wonderful blessings has the Lord bestowed upon me to give me an opportunity and passion to serve in the military, as well as friends and family who support me. Just as the men and women aboard this ship train daily for any and every emergency situation that could present itself, I know I must prepare myself each day to be ready for God to call me to do anything. In the words of St. Maria Faustina, “Do with me as You please. I subject myself to Your will. As of today, Your holy will shall be my nourishment, and I will be faithful to Your commands with the help of Your grace.”

Much love to you all! Ave Maris Stella!

"What is it going to be like in heaven, if already here in exile God so fills my soul."
~St. Maria Faustina

My First Thoughts at Sea

2007-06-27T02:47:00.000-05:00

Post-dated:
25 MAY 2007. Somewhere in the Pacific.

Asleep in my rack: the only place I have to call my own on the ship. It is my 7ft x 2ft x 1.5ft space where I sleep. Above and below me, other Midshipmen sleep. The next set of racks is only 2 ft away. Fifteen of us share this berthing space, where we sleep, composed only of racks, lockers, and a mirror. My only privacy is a small blue curtain. On the wall by my head, there is a small pin board, where I have holy cards pinned up of Jesus, Our Lady of Guadalupe, Saint Dominic, and Saint Cecilia. In the small book space by my pillow lies my Breviary, my journal, my Bible, St. Maria Faustina’s Divine Mercy in My Soul, St. Josemaria Escriva’s The Way, and of course, my Rosary. I sleep on a thin mattress with a sheet, blanket, and pillow. I’ve got everything I need, and nothing I don’t.

In the middle of the night, it is quiet and cold. Most are asleep, but people are always awake through the night continuing to run the ship and stand watches. I wake up to the sound of the Boatswain’s Pipe whistling over the 1MC (the ship-wide intercom) and the call for reveille at 0600. He pipes several extended times; time to start the day. We all slowly and silently get out of our racks and get into uniform. While underway, we wear a simple uniform of coveralls (kind of like a jumpsuit), a belt, steel-toed boots, and a ballcap. We spend at least an hour a day cleaning our part of the ship. We live in community the whole day; naps or personal time during the day is rare—there is a lot of work to be done. The ship’s bell tolls over the 1MC at noon. The beginning and end of every meal period is announced by the Boatswain’s Pipe over the 1MC, too. The day ends quietly. The ship “goes dark” after sunset, where all white light is turned off and replaced by dim red light in the passageways. Taps occurs at 2200, and the silence begins. This is my day onboard an underway U.S. Navy warship.

All I could think about as I progressed through my first full day at sea was how much life onboard ship is like being at a convent or monastery (minus the religious aspect, of course). My rack is like my cell, containing simple things and only what you need; a place to lay your head. My uniform is like my habit, simple clothes to get our work done. I am awoken, put to sleep, and reminded of important times by the Boatswain’s Pipe or the ships bell, just like the bells that toll at the convent or monastery throughout the day. (Our noon ship’s bell ringing reminds me to pray the Regina Caeli, and now the Angelus!) We live entirely in community throughout the day, both eating and working. With taps comes our nighttime “Grand Silence” as sailors try to get their rest before rising for another day of work; yet many remain on watch to run the ship, just as those who remain on watch in the convent or monastery with our Lord. We even, to an extent, live the vows of poverty, chastity, and obedience. We embrace a kind of poverty onboard ship: under-elaborate sleeping arrangements, simple meals, plain uniforms, very minimal if any luxuries besides a good book and an iPod, very short “Navy showers” to conserve potable water, being confined to the ship, etc. The chastity aspect is a given. And of course, we live a life of obedience. We follow commands and do our jobs as our superior officers ask of us with no question.

Everyday I’m understanding more and more the path God is laying out for me. What could prepare me better for the convent than to live this life? I will joyously embrace these years of service I have ahead of me in the Navy as incredibly valuable preparation and experience to whatever God asks of me. And if I do end up in the arms of Christ as His bride, all this “training,” this spiritual formation through my naval service, will instill things into me that God wants me to have as a religious.

So for now, I’m following the advice of Saint Francis de Sales, “Bloom where you are planted!”

Embrace your life TODAY for the greater glory of God!!

Ave Maris Stella!

"Bloom where you are planted."
~St. Franics de Sales

Back From Sea

2007-06-25T21:29:00.001-05:00

I've returned from over four weeks at sea and am very happy to be home. I made some journal entries during my time away and will post them soon, then continue with my usual postings. Hope your month has been a blessed one!

"See God's will in everything, and do His will with joy, out of love of Him."
~Blessed Caritas

Ave Maris Stella

2007-05-21T19:04:00.001-05:00

As I prepare to depart for some time at sea, I wanted to leave you with a beautiful hymn to our Blessed Mother, "Ave Maris Stella" or "Hail, Star of the Sea." Please pray for me, and check for updates if I am able to post from sea!

Ave Maris Stella	Hail, Star of the Sea
Dei Mater alma,	Portal of the sky
Atque semper virgo,	Ever virgin Mother
Felix coeli porta.	Of the Lord Most High.

Sumens illud ave	O! by Gabriel's Ave,
Gabrielis ore,	Uttered long ago,
Funda nos in pace,	Eva's name reversing,
Mutans Evae nomen	Established peace below

Solve vincia reis	Break the captives' fetters,
Profer lumen caecis	Light on blindness pour,
Mala nostra pelle,	All our ills expelling,
Bona cuncta posce.	Every bliss implore

Monstra te esse Matrem	Show thyself a Mother,
Sumat per te preces	Offer Him our sighs,
Qui pro nobis natus	Who for us incarnate
Tulit esse tuus	Did not thee despise

Virgo singularis	Virgin of all virgins
Inter omnes mitis	To thy shelter take us,
Nos culpis solutos	Gentlest of the gentle
Mites fac et castos	Chaste and gentle make us

Vitam presta puram	Still, as on we journey,
Iter para tutum,	Help our weak endeavor,
Ut, videntes Jesum	Till with thee and Jesus
Semper collaetemur	We rejoice forever

Sit laus Deo Patri,	through the highest heaven,
Summo Cristo decus	To the almighty Three
Spiritui sancto:	Father, Son, and Spirit,
Tribus honor unus.	One same glory be.
Amen.	Amen.

Saint Brendan the Navigator, pray for us!

"If I fly with the wings of dawn, and alight beyond the sea,
even there your hand will guide me, your right hand hold me fast."
~Psalm 139:9-10

Heaven's Before Me

2007-05-16T01:57:00.000-05:00

Soul of Christ, sanctify me
Body of Christ, save me please
Blood of Christ, inebriate me
And with the water of Your side, Lord, wash me clean
Passion of Christ, strengthen me
And O dear Jesus, hear my plea

Cause Heaven's before me
Heaven's before me

Within Thy wounds will You hide me
And suffer me not separation from Thee
From the enemy, O Father, please defend me
And at the hour of my death, God, call me home
And bid me come unto Thee
So with Your saints I may praise Thee
With Your saints I may praise Thee

Cause Heaven's before me
Heaven's before me

Incline my heart to do You will
My heart is Thine

This is a stunning version of the "Anima Christi" prayer, written by the brilliant musician Colleen McCarron. If you'd like to hear it, my friend Jimmy has a streaming link on his blog, Mirth in the Merciful. If you go to Colleen's page, check out another one of her songs called "I Can't Wait." It is a beautiful prayer/song to her future husband.

"If I love you, I will show you; I will show you with the rest of my life!"
~Colleen McCarron, I Can't Wait

Love and Bear Fruit

2007-05-14T19:59:00.000-05:00

Remain in my love.

These words of Christ as recorded in today's Gospel from St. John serve as the single most important words of advice to us that trancend generations. This seemingly simple command proves to be the most challenging aspect of living a Christian life -- to love one another, keeping in mind all the things St. Paul teaches us about what love is. Not only do these words guide us as how to treat one another, but also to remain with God. After all, God is love itself; to remain in love is to remain in Him. And so, with this simple phrase, Jesus summarizes the two greatest commandments: to love God and to love one another for love of God.

I have told this so that my joy might be in you and your joy might be complete.

Only in following Christ's command to remain in His love will we ever find the happiness we are all searching for. No joy or satisfaction of this world will make our hearts complete; only Him.

No one has greater love than this, to lay down one's life for one's friends.

And here, I am drawn to think of this phrase from a vocation viewpoint. What greater love is there than to lay down your life for your vocation? To give yourself totally to your spouse and your children in marriage? To give your entire life to God in service of His people in the priesthood or consecrated life? Ultimately, no matter what our vocation, we are called to live up to this kind of love, to lay our lives down so that others might have life; to live our lives in total service to Christ through our vocation so that others might also come to know Truth itself--Jesus Christ.

It was not you who chose me, but I who chose you, and appointed you to go and bear fruit that will remain.

To think--Christ calls US! He calls us, poor and sinful, to be consumed in His Mercy and to live out our lives to tell the world of His Truth. And Jesus tells us not just to live the gospel, but also to bear fruit! What a challenge in the society we live in today. But doesn't it make life worth living?

This I command you: love one another.

Just live it!

"We are born to love, we live to love, and we will die to love still more."
~Saint Joseph Cafasso

Message for the Youth

2007-05-11T13:20:00.000-05:00

Last night, the Holy Father met with over 40,000 youth in Brazil in during his Apostolic Visit. He has some incredible words for the youth not only of Brazil, but for youth all over the world. I'd like to include some of my favorite words from his speech:

"In 1991, during his visit to Mato Grosso, the Servant of God Pope John Paul II, of venerable memory, said that 'youth are the first protagonists of the third millennium … they are the ones who will be charged with the destiny of this new phase in human history' (16 October 1991). Today, I feel moved to make the same observation regarding all of you."

"We can never say 'enough', because the love of God is infinite, and the Lord asks us—or better—requires us to open our hearts wider so that there will be room for even more love, goodness, and understanding for our brothers and sisters, and for the problems which concern not only the human community, but also the effective preservation and protection of the natural environment of which we are all a part."

"If we came to see all the good that exists in the world—and moreover, experience the good that comes from God himself—we would never cease to approach him, praise him, and thank him. He continually fills us with joy and good things. His joy is our strength."

"These years of your life are the years which will prepare you for your future. Your 'tomorrow' depends much on how you are living the 'today' of your youth. Stretching out in front of you, my dear young friends, is a life that all of us hope will be long; yet it is only one life, it is unique: do not let it pass it vain; do not squander it. Live it with enthusiasm and with joy, but most of all, with a sense of responsibility."

"But as I gaze at you young people here present—you who radiate so much joy and enthusiasm—I see you as Christ sees you: with a gaze of love and trust, in the certainty that you have found the true way. You are the youth of the Church."

I was able to watch the entire telecast of the youth event on EWTN, and it was so incredible to observe the sheer joy of the Holy Father to be with the young people. He never stopped smiling. I am very excited for World Youth Day 2008!

"My dear young people, Christ is calling you to be saints."
~Pope Benedict XVI

Truth from an Unlikely Source

2007-05-09T23:09:00.000-05:00

Found this video via Lifeteen about a postulant of the Sisters of Life in Bronx, NY. She talks about the reasons behind her choice to enter the convent and the video points out the recent surge of young women entering religious life. This video, however, comes from an unlikely source -- MTV. Praise God for some truth in the mass of crud they produce.

"We drive around in our beat-up old jalopys, I mean, it's upside down, it's crazy, nobody would say that they wanted that. But there's a tremendous freedom, in not pursuing things."
~Mother Agnes Mary, S.V., on the vow of poverty

Fr. Baker on TV!

2007-05-09T00:08:00.000-05:00

Sorry I have been out of commission lately. We just finished up exams and I head back home tomorrow morning for a few relaxing weeks. I have a lot of posts I'd like to make, so stay tuned!

In the mean time, I found this video of our very own Father John Sims Baker being interviewed by one of the local TV news stations in Nashville concerning priestly celibacy. What a treat!

"It is a sacrifice, it means giving up some fundamental things of what it means to be a human being. On the other hand, you never make a sacrifice except for something you believe is a greater calling and a higher gift.”
~Fr. John Sims Baker, on the vow of celibacy

A Burning Desire

2007-04-24T00:53:00.000-05:00

"When God visits you with measureless gifts, let your memory open immediately to receive what your intellect knows in His divine love, and let your will rise with burning desire to receive and gaze at the blazing heart of the giver, the gentle, good Jesus. Thus, you will find yourself burning and clothed with fire, and with the gift of the blood of God’s Son, and you will be free from all pain and unease. This is what took away the pain of the holy disciples when they had to leave Mary and one another, although they willingly bore the separation in order to spread the word of God.

Run, run, run!"

~St. Catherine of Siena

Pray for Virginia Tech

2007-04-16T20:20:00.000-05:00

Please pray for the victims, families, and the community of Virginia Tech. I pray that our Blessed Mother will take their campus into her protection and calm their sorrowful hearts.

For the sake of His sorrowful Passion, have mercy on us and on the whole world.

"We are powerless before this vast multitude that comes against us. We are at a loss what to do, hence our eyes are turned toward you."
~2 Chronicles 20:12

In Good Company

2007-04-14T21:32:00.000-05:00

President Bush joined several leaders of the Church for the National Catholic Prayer Breakfast this past Friday in Washington, D.C. Here, he is pictured with Mother Assumpta of the Dominican Sisters of Mary, Mother of the Eucharist. I just had to post this picture, and ask for you to continue to pray for this great country of ours as well as our President.

"I noticed that this year's breakfast was the Friday after Lent -- you can eat your bacon in good conscience!"
~President Bush at the Breakfast

Love Has Come to Show the Way

2007-04-09T01:01:00.000-05:00

With one voice the angels sing
Songs that make Creation ring
Prophets hear and call us to
Live in spirit and in truth

Father, Yaweh, Elohim
Voice of thunder, spirit, wind
Breathe on me Your very life
Grace will make the darkness bright

Word of God enthroned
Dwell in us forevermore
Love has come to show the way
Hallelujah, peace be with us
Love has come to show the way

God of covenant Divine
Lead us to the end of time
Beyond sorrow, beyond fear
Beyond pride and earthly tears

Keeper of the sacrifice
And invest in Jesus Christ
Born to die and wake the dead
As we hunger, keep us fed

NOW SALVATION HAS COME!
In the new Jerusalem!
Dancers dance and singers roar,
Proclaiming JESUS CHRIST IS LORD!

Christ is risen, He is risen indeed, ALLELUIA!
Happy Easter!

"Do not abandon yourselves to despair. We are the Easter people, and Hallelujah is our song!"
~Pope John Paul the Great

Seized by His Love

2007-04-06T15:06:00.000-05:00

It is absolutely incredible how much God is moving in my life and in many of my friends' too. We all seem to be captivated by Him, seized by His look of love upon us.

And on this Good Friday, I meditate on a beautiful image of this incredible group of people whom I love so much, huddled at the foot of the Cross, gazing up to our Loving and Merciful Lord, totally consumed at the thought of His immense love for us in the sacrifice we celebrate today. To recognize this love is sometimes a difficult task, in that it truly takes a temporary abandonment of this life and a total engulfment in the heavenly. And if you have taken a look around our world lately, there is not much sacredness around.

Somehow, God has surrounded me with people who have made that journey into the sacred, and we are moving on the path of holiness together. It is overwhelming sometimes to feel the Holy Spirit move among us, and the thought alone of what our futures entail is both incredibly aullring and extremely frightening. Surrounding yourself with people who would gladly give up everything they have to follow our Lord is very dangerous (in a good way, of course), and yet very fruitful.

Those who are seized by His love encompass themselves in His mercy; they gaze upon Christ crucified and praise His ultimate act of love. In the same way, we gaze upon our Savior in the Holy Eucharist and constantly thank Him for this ultimate Sacrament of Love. We long to unite ourselves with Him in the most perfect way possible. We must keep in mind, however, that the only perfect way is His way; the only wholeness of our vocation is what God calls us to. All we can do is prepare ourselves for that moment He calls, so that like the fishermen who cast their nets into the deep and the gave up everything to follow Him, we might move switfly after our Lord. Let us cast our nets into the depths of His heart and fill them with everything He is, for then we will discern where we belong in the world.

"Those who let themselves be seized by this love cannot help but abandon everything to follow Him."
~Vita Consecrata

Focus on LOVE

2007-03-27T21:58:00.000-05:00

Two great men that have defined what our generation thirsts for.

I proud to say I am a member of the JPII Generation, the generation of young Catholics thirsting for orthodoxy and truth in our Church and in our world. Our generation was raised on Pope John Paul II's deep commitment to unity, love, and preaching the Holy Apostolic truth. And as we all know, he had a special affection for the youth, and he understood that the future of the Church lies in our hands. Thanks to his efforts, which are now being crystallized and evermore enhanced by our Holy Father Pope Benedict XVI, this "JPII Generation" is being absolutely set ablaze to evangelize, seek holiness, and make a difference in this world.

When I look back on the way our parents were raised in the Church, it seems like there was such an influence then on rules in their youth. With our parents growing up in the 60s and 70s, a time of radical cultural changes in America, it seems like their Catechesis was centered in "here's a list of all the bad things you should not do."

What makes our generation so different? Look at some of the documents written by Pope John Paul II: Veritatis Splendor (The Splendor of Truth), Evangelium Vitae (The Gospel of Life), Fides et Ratio (Faith and Reason), all of which lead into Pope Benedict's Deus Caritas Est (God is Love) and his most recent writing, Sacramentum Caritatis (The Sacrament of Love). Especially seen in these last two, there an incredible focus on love. There is such a push to let the world know what a loving God our Father is, and that if we can understand that basis of our faith, everything else will fall into place.

When I think about our culture and all the things wrong in the world, it's not that we sin too much -- it's that we don't love enough. This new generation of young Catholics are being taught a faith based on LOVE, on the two greatest commandments: to love God and love one another for love of Him. So watch out -- we are here to change the world.

"Even though you are young, the time for action is now! It is time to let your light shine! Remember, Christ is calling you; the Church needs you; the Pope believes in you, and he expects great things of you!"
~Pope John Paul the Great

Be it Done Unto Me

2007-03-27T01:08:00.000-05:00

Today we celebrated the Feast of the Annunciation, the Anniversary of the day of Incarnation, the day that Christ became man and dwelt among us, when the angel announced to our Blessed Mother that she is with child. Her response, her "yes," is known as the fiat. I'm an especially big fan of the fiat, as it is something I try to live by.

"Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord. Be it done unto me according to Your word."
~Luke 1:38

Reflect on your life and think about times when God has called you to do something. What was your response? Did you willingly and obediently respond as Mary did? Or did you ignore or disregard it? Don't worry--it is not too late. Spend some time today praying that when God calls you to whatever vocation He has planned for you that you will respond like Mary.

And remeber--God is with us always, as we celebrated today. He lies in Tabernacles across the world, just waiting to be adored and venerated by His beloved--us.

"Behold, God's dwelling is with the human race. He will dwell with them and they will be his people and God himself will always be with them."
~Revelation 21:3

Courage of the Eucharist

2007-03-18T23:52:00.001-05:00

Sorry it has been a while. My blog would not let me sign in, yay technology.

I don't have too many words tonight, other than a simple quote from St. Faustina. It serves as a wonderful reminder of how precious the Holy Eucharist is as a gift of God to His people, and reiterates the Eucharist as our true daily bread, without which we could not live. It sustains us in all ways to continue the work God set out for us.

"Holy Communion assures me that I will win the victory. This Bread of the Strong gives me all the strength I need to carry on my mission and the courage to do whatever the Lord asks of me. The courage and strength that are in me are not of me, but of Him who lives in me -- it is the Eucharist."
~St. Faustina, Paragraph 91, Divine Mercy in My Soul

Gone for the Week...

2007-03-02T12:00:00.000-06:00

I probably won't be able to access a computer for the next couple of days, so there might not be any new posts until the end of next week. It is with a contrite heart that I thank you for reading this little spiritual outlet of mine and pray that God shower you with grace!

"Great love can change small things into great ones, and it is only love which lends value to our actions."
~St. Faustina

Nashville Dominicans!

2007-03-02T11:51:00.000-06:00

Here's a video of our beloved Dominicans of St. Cecilia here in Nashville. They are a booming order with over 200 sisters. I have the honor of knowing many of them and getting to pray with them, and they are doing wonderful things for the Body of Christ!

"If you are what you should be, you will set the whole world on fire."
~St. Catherine of Siena, OP

I Found My Destiny

2007-02-26T23:54:00.000-06:00

I just recently started reading St. Faustina's Diary, Divine Mercy in My Soul, and already it is stirring my heart up with thoughts on the Lord I've never imagined.

"O God, the more I know You the less I can comprehend You, but this 'non comprehension' lets me realize how great you are! And it is this impossibility of comprehending which enflames my heart anew for You, O Lord. From the moment when You let me fix the eyes of my soul on You, O Jesus, I have been at peace and desired nothing else, I found my destiny at the moment when my soul lost itself in You, the only object of my love."

~St. Faustina, Paragraph 57, Divine Mercy in My Soul

This entry is so moving to me I don't even know where to begin. I definitely know that there is a truth to this in my faith walk, in that the more I know God, the less I focus on figuring out why I love Him so much, and instead just love Him. Contemplating His complexity always ends in rejoicing in His power, and how out of all He is capable of, He thought it somehow important to create little me. And there, my heart is captured. "The eyes of my soul" fixed themselves upon His heart, and there I want to stay for the rest of my days. And the most incredible line-- I found my destiny at the moment when my soul lost itself in You. Everything in my life made sense when I finally opened my heart to Jesus and truly saw Him for who He is.

And now, the only thing that is constant in my life is His love for me. I sin, I stumble, people hurt, people abandon, only God is eternal, only God is the wholeness of love. The only thing that satisfies me is my King, my Father, my Friend, my Lover, my Savior: my Lord Jesus Christ.

"My lover speaks; he says to me,
'Arise, my beloved, my beautiful one,
and come!"
~Song of Songs 2:10

Fishers of Men

2007-02-26T00:37:00.000-06:00

Made by the same people that made "God in the Streets of New York," this is a trailer to a Grassroots film on the Priesthood.

And if I may just take a moment to thank God for all the incredible holy priests He has called to the service of His Church, especially those who have been very influential in my life and my formation. I pray that the Lord continue to call these pious men to His service so that our Church might continue to serve His Truth.

"Jesus came to Galilee proclaiming the gospel of God: 'This is the time of fulfillment. The kingdom of God is at hand. Repent, and believe in the gospel.' As he passed by the Sea of Galilee, he saw Simon and his brother Andrew casting their nets into the sea; they were fishermen. Jesus said to them, 'Come follow me, and I will make you fishers of men."
~Mark 1:14-17

Something Interesting...

2007-02-25T23:55:00.000-06:00

...to come.

A Taste of Heaven

2007-02-23T23:44:00.000-06:00

I know I mentioned Eucharistic Adoration in the post below, but I just wanted to reiterate how absolutely wonderful it is. Seeing my Lord and Savior face to face, spending time just looking at Him and living in His Holy Presence is beyond words.

As humans, the thing that tends to limit us in everything we do is time. Schedules, meetings, classes, meals--everything is set for us based on time. For me, Adoration is always an event where I can truly escape time. Experiencing the beauty of silence, the flickering light of candles on the Altar, the scent of rising incense, and being in the Presence of my Lover seems to be the right formula for me to let go of the world and embrace the life of the sacred--to experience the life of the Heavenly.

Don't get me wrong, the ultimate experience of Heaven on earth is the Holy Mass, where we commune ourselves, through receiving the Holy Eucharist, with all our brothers and sisters in faith both on earth and in Heaven, and of course, the Trinity itself. But, in Adoration, we have that time to just be still and know that He is God, to simply gaze upon the King of Kings and hear Him speak to us, His heart to our own.

If you ever question how much God loves you, go to Mass to re-experience His sacrifice, then spend time with Him in Adoration. Release your worries of the world and open your heart before Him. Jesus will lift your heart up to Heaven and it will dwell there with His Father and all the Saints. And you will find the peace you are searching for.

"O God, you are my God-- for you I long! For you my body yearns; for you my soul thirsts. So I look to you in the sanctuary to see your power and glory. For your love is better than life."
~Psalm 63:2-4

God in the Streets of New York

2007-02-23T01:11:00.000-06:00

Adoration is a beautiful way that we worship our Eucharistic Lord as Catholics. The Eucharist is the summit of our faith, and being able to spend time in the Divine Presence moves hearts and changes lives. Seeing our Lord face to face--what more could we ask for?

This video is a trailer for a film which documents a Eucharistic Procession through the streets of New York City, thanks to the incredible Franciscan Friars of the Renewal of the Bronx.

I think it speaks for itself.

"Do not be afraid to go out on the streets and into public places, like the first Apostles who preached Christ and the Good News of salvation in the squares of cities, towns and villages. This is no time to be ashamed of the Gospel."
~Pope John Paul the Great

You've Got Something on Your Forehead...

2007-02-21T16:37:00.000-06:00

Ah, Ash Wednesday. The day where everyone asks you "hey, you've got something smuged on your face!" (or they might just stare without asking anything). Also a day when we can easily point out another Catholic in the crowd.

We bear the cross on our foreheads as Lent begins, reminding us that we are but dust. God created us from mere dirt, and we cannot do anything in life without Him. It's a humbling thought, even more humbling when you wear it on your forehead, the ashes, a beautiful symbol and sacramental reminding us of our smallness. The ashes remind me to be little--[oh St. Therese, you are wonderful!] but that's another story.

So yes, we were created of dirt in the ground. We are nothing. You might be asking, well so we're nothing, God doesn't care then, I can go sin or do whatever 'cause I'm dirt. Wrong. God wanted so intently for humankind to exist that He made us, the complex beings we are, out of mere dirt. Sounds like some sort of appearing magic trick, huh? Well, it's God. And this day does remind us that we are small; i.e. we are not God. Letting go of your desires and turning all your actions over to His plan is what it means to be small--trusting Him.

So, we need to be small. This applies to our Lenten traditions, too. Like today's Gospel said, don't go out performing great fasts or long-winded public prayer for the world to see. Rather, do these things hoping that no one else knows but you and God. Kinda tough to do, huh? Sometimes our delicate egos would much rather gather attention, "woe is me, I am so hungry, but I HAVE to fast today, you know the Catholic thing..." or something like that. Be small. Fast and don't let anyone know. Donate to a good cause, but keep your checkbook hidden. Pray your heart out in secret. As the Gospel says, "and your Father who sees in secret will repay you."

Think about what it means to have been so lovingly created by God through the very dust we wear today. Think about all those Lenten sacrifices we make, and pray that one day, your heart will so intensely emulate Christ to the world that it won't take Ash Wednesday for people to notice that you are Catholic.

"If you find that the world hates you, know it has hated me before you. If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own; the reason it hates you is that you do not belong to the world, but I chose you out of the world."
~John 15:18-19

Answered Prayers

2007-02-20T17:46:00.000-06:00

A great video I found from the Today Show talking about how many convents are bursting at the seams with new sisters. This video looks at the Dominican Sisters of Mary, Mother of the Eucharist, a very holy and wonderful order! Have I mentioned that I love Dominicans??

"Together let us thank God for all those individuals who, in their inmost hearts, dedicate themselves to God by a special consecration."
~Vita Consecrata

A New Lenten Mission

2007-02-20T16:51:00.000-06:00

The Mardi Gras season has come and is almost gone and Lent is very quickly approaching. I'm thinking that as a sort of spiritual mission for myself, I'm going to try and post more on this little blog of mine--not that anyone really reads it, but moreso as a means for me to use my time on the internet for more than just Facebook.

So stay tuned, hopefully you'll find it to be somewhat entertaining!

"Stupidity is also a gift of God, but one musn't misuse it."
~Pope John Paul the Great

Don't believe in God? Go to Yosemite.

2006-06-20T19:52:00.000-05:00

I had the amazing opportunity to see Yosemite National Park last weekend, and even got into a campsite, which is nearly impossible during the summer months. I went with a friend from school, and we had the most incredible time. Driving there from the Bay Area, the drive alone had stunning views, from driving east through the mountains of the East Bay, to the seemingly desolate yet fertile flatness of the San Joaquin Valley, to the foothills of the wooded and rocky Sierra Nevada.

After entering the park, the views got better and better. The massive rock structures, the green valley, and enourmous waterfalls really take your breath away. After a hike, we made it to the top of Sentinel Dome, giving us a 360 degree view of the entire park, elevation 8,122 ft. I was in awe. Looking out on the huge rock of Half Dome, carved by a glacier many years ago, I couldn't even fathom how things like this are formed. The melting snowcapped peaks of the mountains in the distance led to the most amazing waterfalls I've ever seen, and even felt, as the next day we hiked to the top of Vernal Falls, getting soaked from the mist along the hike. At night, after turning out the lantern and letting the campfire settle, we looked up to the sky, only to see the most incomprehensible view of stars I've ever seen in my life.

So, looking at what I've mentioned--huge mountainous rock formations, roaring waterfalls, an astonishing amount of stars--everything was on a huge scale. At first, it made me feel so small, so insignificant. What was so special about my little life?

Searching for some sort of answer, my friend directed me to Psalm 104--Praise of God the Creator. Go look it up. My heart was moved, hearing this Psalm on top of Sentinel Dome, looking out. I'll highlight this verse:
"All of these look to you to give them food in due time. When you give to them, they gather; when you open your hand, they are filled." Psalm 104:27-28

My feeling of insignificance suddenly changed. Looking out on Half Dome and Upper Yosemite Falls, I realized that I was special. Yeah, I know that sounds really weird/strange/corny, but I'm serious. My God gave me this amazing Creation. It is His gift to His people, this amazing world we live in, this amazing life we live. He has given this to us, and so we gather to Him, and He fills us with life.

In short, I don't see how anyone could look from Sentinel Dome, Glacier Point, the top of Vernal Falls, Yosemite Valley, anywhere in the Park--and look out at the beauty contained in Yosemite and think all of it was created by chance. The intricacies of nature, both living and non-living, are so complex, it's far beyond the comprehension of us mere humans--maybe because it's the work of the Divine.

"The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely, or unhappy is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quiet, alone with the heavens, nature, and God. Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be and that God wishes to see people happy, amidst the simple beauty of nature."
~Anne Frank

Say a prayer for the dead

2006-06-13T20:29:00.000-05:00

Every morning on my short commute to work, I pass by a Planned Parenthood clinic. I don't think I've actually seen one before, or at least seen one and understood what it was until now. The first morning I drove by I felt like a shock just looking at it, thinking about what happens there, lives ended and mothers leaving broken. I was quickly compelled to turn off my radio and say a Hail Mary. Now everytime I pass it, going to and from work, I do just that. I turn off my radio and pause for a moment in prayer. One morning, two people were outside with signs encouraging LIFE, and I smiled, knowing I wasn't the only one who prayed for the people who go through that clinic. It encouraged me, and so I continued my tradition of praying as I drove by.

Just the other day on the way to work, I saw a lot of activity outside the Catholic church that is just around the corner from the office; it was a funeral, hearse was in the street, the casket was just taken out of the church, many people were gathered. Again, my heart was shaken, I turned off the radio, and prayed. Prayed for the deceased, for the family and friends who mourn. Still praying and thinking, I turned the corner and once again drove past the Planned Parenthood clinic, praying again for the deceased and for the mothers who bear the pain.

And then I thought, there are two very opposite ends of the end of this life we lead. In the clinic, death occurs before they even have a chance to be in this world. At the church, death occured to someone who had a chance to live their life. I thought to myself--what is more tragic? Pulling into the parking lot of the office, thoughts of paperwork and computer software filled my mind.
But, it is something to think about. We always like our lives categorized, organized; certain things go in certain places, we classify people and objects and that is just what we do. We hear of someone who was killed by a murderer and think, "oh how awful", yet hear of a man who died of old age and think "well, he sure lived a good life, didn't he?" And that is where my mind gets confused. Is it right for ourselves to put these classifications on death? Like, a good death or a bad death?

When trying to tackle this, I thought of myself in the car that morning. My heart was shaken at the thought of both the death of the unborn and the death of an adult. So my conclusion, it doesn't matter. Death is not the end. While yes, in our minds we categorize death in different ways, we must always remember that death is merely the end of life on earth. We also have to remember the death Christ endured for us so that our human death is not the end. He died so that our death would be the beginning of a new life. Now, I think again, is that death tragic, the death of our Savior? Once again, it doesn't matter. Yes, the death He endured, death on a Cross, was horribly painful and difficult to think about. But, that suffering only shows the incredible love He had for both His Father and His Father's people--us.

So, to wrap up this very long winded post; death is death. It is the end of this life. But, thanks to the gift of our Loving Savior, it is not the end of ALL life, it is the start of the everlasting life, the gift we recieved when He conquered death.

So tomorrow, as I drive by the church and think of the funerals offered there, and the clinic and think of the children lost there, I will continue to pray. And, I will remember that death, in all forms, can be tragic; yet it is also the beginning a new life. Like a ship going over the horizon, we soon fail to see it, yet someone on the other side will see it soon.

"For if what was going to fade was glorious, how much more will what endures be glorious?"
~2 Corinthians 3:11

We lift our eyes to Heaven

2006-06-13T00:00:00.000-05:00

So life is pretty tough sometimes. The only tough part about life is that we don't understand everything that it is. Things happen, we don't understand them, try to on our own, realize that we can't, and get down from that. That's where the amazing gift of trusting in God's will comes in. When we trust in His will, we are content with not comprehending everything about life, because we know and trust that regardless of what "curveballs" we are thrown in life, we will get through them because every action is part of the plan. Trusting in God has a lot to do with humbling yourself. We have to humbly accept that we don't know everything, and that we shouldn't waste our precious time on earth doing so. It's hard for our prideful human selves to surrender such a thing as trusting in something we've never seen. But, when you get to that point in your faith life when you can, it lets you approach any situation without fear. Even death. Especially death. But, that is another topic for another day.

"Let nothing trouble you, let nothing frighten you, everything passes, God never changes, God is enough!"
~St. Theresa of Jesus

The Smell of Cardboard

2005-07-19T14:45:00.000-05:00

It has begun. The pack. My house reaks of boxes.