For this is My work

Over two months into my new life as a Naval officer.  In a new place, with new people, new surroundings, new expectations.  Living on my own.  Paying the bills.  Coming home not to the college dorm, not to roommates and loud music and homework, but to silence.  To dinner waiting to be prepared.  To dishes and dirty laundry--all my silent friends.  Silence.

And also in my time here, four weeks of time underway at sea.  A total opposite lifestyle.  People everywhere.  Constant community.  Hard work, long hours.  No bills to worry about.  Dinner's ready when you want it.  Laundry's taken care of twice a week.  A lot of noise and people and opinions...but there is silence.  There's some opportunity to recollect.  The silence I most enjoy is going outside on the bridgewing at night to look up at the stars, and hear the ship cut through the water.  A gentle moon glow.  A deep breath of salty air.  A moment to remember what I am doing and why I am doing it.  It's all for Him.  

Commissioning.  A great commissioning occurred over 2000 years ago when our Lord sent His twelve apostles to go out and preach to all nations, teaching them all that He taught them.  A daunting task for anyone, let alone these ordinary men.  

It's no coincidence that the moment you become an officer is known as your "commissioning."  My great commissioning happened nearly 12 weeks ago.  Our Lord has sent me out to preach, to teach, at a very specific time and in a very particular place.  Facing, just like the apostles, an ineptitude for the task and a seemingly great opportunity for failure.  

And yet, He has left me with something, just as He left His twelve brothers.  He promised to stay with them--with us--even until the end of time.  And He is with me.  Even when I don't feel Him, even when I think I am failing Him, even when the task seems far beyond what I am capable of.  He is there.  And this is His work.

"Why are you troubled, you coward?

Go on and I will help you--for this is My work and not yours."

~Our Lord, speaking to Saint Camillus de Lellis