16 November 2011

15 October 2011

Desiring Excellence

It seems as though the focus of my life on the ship, particularly as an officer, is correcting deficiencies. Our days are spent preparing for the next inspection, the next assessment, or the next certification. Since we are to always be inspection-ready and combat-ready, we are taught to maintain a critical eye, especially of our own ship/spaces/sailors. These self-assessments come in the smallest of ways, like in passing a sailor in the passageway and giving their uniform a once-over for sharpness; or in the big ways, like in preparing a ship for its deployment readiness certification.

We are taught that there is a standard, and that the standard must be enforced. So, each time you pass by a sailor who needs a haircut, a firehose stowed improperly, a passageway that has not been swept for days, etc, and do not do something to correct the deficiency, you are failing to enforce the standard. So what should you do? You stop the sailor and remind him to get a haircut. You report to the division responsible that their firehose needs to be restowed or their passageway needs to be swept. Then, the most important part. You go back and verify that the deficiency was actually corrected. It's not enough to just report it and "pass the buck." Some of the best words of advice for a young officer are those of the great President Ronald Reagan: "trust but verify."

I feel like I spend way too much of my time correcting deficiencies. Don't get me wrong--I know there will always be deficiencies to correct, but how do you move from the place of constantly pinging on people get their work done and be mindful of the details to getting them to actually take ownership of their equipment, their spaces, their responsibilities, so that I have less "deficiency correcting" to do? How do I inspire a sailor to do what they are supposed to do, not because they fear my watchful eye, but because they want to be excellent? And should I find a deficiency, that they be upset for not catching it themselves and desire to quickly correct it? How do we get to that point?

I will certainly spend my career, and beyond, figuring that one out. Until then, I try to instill in my sailors a desire to be excellent and to do the right thing simply by trying to be excellent and do the right thing myself. It's a challenge. But I don't quite know of any other way to do it than lead by example and hope that they will follow. Why settle for being great when you could be excellent?

12 October 2011

Where Truth and Beauty Meet

I'm happy to have just had my first blog post published on Mysterium's blog, "Where Truth and Beauty Meet to Transform Culture." Check it out!

Mysterium is home to such projects as the band Marian Grace, the prayer book Oratio, and a movement in the Church to transform the culture from within. Our faith does not have to be seperate from our existence in the culture that we find ourselves in--in fact, our practice of deeply living our Catholic faith from while experiencing the culture is what will ultimately transform it. There is nothing more attractive than someone truly trying to live out their faith, right among the ordinary things of life; in fact, I'd consider that to be the starting point of evangelization.

16 August 2011

His eye is on the sparrow

This has definitely been "the summer of Audrey Assad," at least when it comes to what has been most frequently enjoyed on my iPod! (haha, no rhyme intended) Her latest album, "The House You're Building," has been a staple in my life these past couple months. I started listening to it in its fullness around March and kept it on throughout the summer. Its songs have expressed the realities of my heart through what has been the most unexpectedly formative period in my life.

A song she has yet to release, but can be heard in her concerts and captured in some recordings online, is called "Sparrow." You can listen to it here. The lyrics follow.

Why should I be lonely, long for heaven and home
When Jesus is my portion and a constant Friend I know

I sing because I'm happy, I sing because I'm free
For His eye is on the sparrow, His eye is on the sparrow
And I know He's watching me

Why should I be troubled when His tender word I hear
I rest on His goodness in my doubt and in my fear


It's hard to imagine life as a little sparrow. These tiny birds eat seeds, fly around, and live a seemingly meaningless existence. But their voice, their song, is beautiful and precious to God, their Creator. If God could so esteem a sparrow as to keep His eye on him, how much more does He esteem and keep guard over us? Why should we be lonely or troubled?

Rest on the goodness of the Lord.

26 July 2011

For All My Life...Pale Ale

This past Monday was the Final Profession for the Dominican Sisters of Saint Cecilia in Nashville, and one of my dear friends professed her final vows! Amazing! I've known her for over four years now, and I'd gotten to spend many moments with her during the past six months in particular, leading up to this beautiful day. It has been a grace to get to witness those final months before she professed her vows to the Lord "for all my life." I sadly was not able to be there in Nashville to witness it in person, but very dearly held to my heart the words of Saint John Vianney, that "Miles melt before the tabernacle!"

I don't think I've blogged about it before, but upon returning home from my deployment, I got into homebrewing. That's right, brewing my own beer! It's a perfect combination of my love for cooking, for science, and for delicious craft beer! :-) I thought there would be no way more appropriate to celebrate and commemorate my dear friend making her final vows than to brew a commemorative beer in honor of her and her Sisters on this special occasion. The recipe I used is a clone of my favorite craft beer, Magic Hat #9, a pale ale with a hint of apricot. If I could only drink one beer for the rest of my life, it would be that one. So in light of that fact, and in honor of those words that my friend and her Sisters professed on Monday, I've named the brew "For-All-My-Life Pale Ale." It will be ready in four weeks--I'll let you know how it turns out!

I enjoyed a Magic Hat #9 while brewing...so hopefully it will end up tasting like this! I used a frosty pint glass from Southend Brewery in Charleston, SC--hometown of my dear friend who made her final vows!

Fermentation in progress, with previous homebrews in the background!!

16 July 2011

The Next Step

Woe to me if I should prove myself
but a halfhearted soldier
in the service of
my thorn-crowned Captain.

Saint Fidelis of Sigmarigen


Yesterday, I completed my temporary duty assignment and returned back to my ship to start my second tour, my next two years onboard. It was a big step, with much more significance than simply checking back in and getting my orders stamped!

The opportunity God has given me to return to the same ship for my second tour is truly a blessing. It was an offer that I first rejected--and it took a second opportunity and a blatantly clear manifestation of God's will for me to accept; but all in God's planning, I suppose! I am so renewed and refreshed thanks to the time I was able to spend away from the ship, and am ready to return and continue the good work that God has already begun onboard, particularly in the hearts of my shipmates.

I know my excitement and positive attitude is at the risk of being quickly subdued as I report back and am reminded of the rigors of sea duty and shipboard life. But my confidence rests in God alone, and not in myself--for surely nothing would be accomplished if it was only up to me and my weak heart!

I was blessed to receive a text of the quote above this morning from a dear one. It couldn't have come at a better time. This will be the motto I take with me as I embark upon the next two years--may I never be halfhearted! Please pray for me and for my ship, that God may be glorified here.

26 June 2011

Never Far From Home

"O precious and wonderful banquet, that brings us salvation and contains all sweetness! Could anything be of more intrinsic value? What could be more wonderful than this? No other sacrament has greater healing power; through it sins are purged away, virtues are increased, and the soul is enriched with an abundance of every spiritual gift. Yet, in the end, no one can fully express the sweetness of this sacrament, in which spiritual delight is tasted at its very source, and in which we renew the memory of that surpassing love for which Christ revealed in His passion."

~Saint Thomas Aquinas, O.P.


Happy solemnity of Corpus Christi! I have particular affection for this feast day, because discovering our Lord's true presence in the Eucharist was the instrument of my "reversion" to the Catholic faith.

Growing up Catholic, and always going through sacramental formation in my various parishes, I always knew the Eucharist was special--that there was some great significance to our Communion, and that it wasn't just like other churches and their partaking of the Lord's Supper. But I didn't really know what that meant. I didn't really know much more than that it was special and significant.

I first truly recognized our Lord, in His Eucharistic presence, during my confirmation retreat in 10th grade, and He then reinforced the reality of His presence the following summer at the Steubenville South Youth Conference in Alexandria, LA. Unfortunately, my lack of spiritual maturity, and lack of involvement in a youth group community led me to quickly forget the reality I had so beautifully experienced during those times. But major seeds were planted.

It took getting to a really low and lost point in my life to realize that what I was searching for the whole time was Him--I was off trying to fill that void in my life, that desire for Jesus, with anything but Him. It took a random retreat I hastily attended at the last minute, a few months before my graduation from high school, for God to allow me another opportunity to meet Him, face to face, in the Most Blessed Sacrament. And there He came. So simply, so humbly, so beautifully. For me. Right in front of me. Despite my failings. Despite running away from Him. He was still there. And always has been!

My entire life changed after that point. I mean, if you REALLY believe in the Real Presence, it should change everything about your life! As Saint Augustine commented--normally, our bodies receive food, in order for us to take that food and turn it into ourselves. But in receiving the Eucharist, we receive the Bread of Angels in order to become what we consume--Jesus, in His fullness.

As I sometimes tell my Protestant friends--when Jesus told His disciples that He would be with them even until the end of time, or when He took bread wine at the Last Supper and said "this is My Body, this is My Blood, do this in remembrance of Me"...do you think He was only kidding?! He wasn't!

The universality of the Eucharist has been particularly beautiful for me during my various travels in the Navy. Anywhere we went in the world, any port we visited, in any country, I knew I could find a Catholic church. And no matter the language, no matter the local customs, no matter what--Jesus would be there, fully, Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity, in His Eucharistic presence. With that reality, I was never far from home. I was at home in every place I visited, all around the world, whenever I was sitting before the tabernacle.

Thank you Lord, for remaining with us. May we become what we eat, and through that reality, transform our world.

20 June 2011

My first deer.

Had an unbelievable weekend in Charleston--that will have to be a whole post in itself sometime soon! Got back safely to Virginia yesterday, but not without incident--I hit a deer, at night on a country road! Yikes! It was a little traumatizing, but I am ok. My car is banged up. All I know is that it could have been much worse. So I'm saying some prayers of thanksgiving for my guardian angel today! You should do the same for yours!


Watch out for deer!

15 June 2011

Mid-Week Pilgrimage

I am currently on a temporary assignment at a base a couple hours north of Norfolk. We got out of our class very early today after an exam, so I decided to go on a little pilgrimage!

First stop, St. Ignatius Catholic Church in Chapel Point, Maryland, founded in 1641 by the Jesuits. It is the oldest continuously active parish in the United States.

The property overlooks the Potomac River. It was a beautiful, clear, mild day today!



Can you believe it? Since 1641!



Inside the church, with a beautiful painting of Saint Ignatius of Loyola behind the altar.



Next stop was the Carmelite Monastery of Port Tobacco, Maryland. Founded in 1790, this was the first Carmelite Monastery in the United States, and is still a thriving monastery today! It was very peaceful and quiet, nestled in the woods and rolling hills.

From inside their old monastery, which is now a little museum, commemorating the way things were for the four original foundresses.



Inside the chapel. Very simple, and very Carmelite!



There are quite a few new parts to the monastery, including a lovely gift shop, a garden, a vast "front door," and this beautiful statue of Our Lady holding the Child Jesus.



Last stop was the "First Landing," the site where the first English Catholics came ashore to the colonies, seeking religious freedom. They sailed on two ships, the ARK and the DOVE, and encountered many troubles along the journey, but made it to the shores of the colonies on a little island they named Saint Clement's Island, standing in the Potomac River between Virginia and Maryland. They landed here on the Feast of the Annunciation, March 25, 1634. On that day, and at this place, the very first Mass was celebrated in the colonies. Awesome!

The island in the background is St. Clement's Island. The settlers were not sure how the Native Americans would react to their arrival, so they first landed on the island instead of the mainland. One of the priests in the group, Father Andrew White, S.J., wasted no time for evangelization and rowed over to the mainland the very next day, bringing Christ to the Natives. Talk about a priest who was living in the spirit of his founder!



It was a great day. I loved the opportunity to go on pilgrimage to see my American Catholic roots! It's easy to forget that we don't have to go very far to make a pilgrimage. We have so much history right in our backyards!

03 June 2011

Gray Hair

As most of you know, I spent most of last year on deployment--seven months at sea. Halfway around the world and back, and many places in between. Life at sea is very simple. It is very ordered. As a holy priest friend always would remind me, "If you take care of order, order will take care of you." Upon returning from deployment, I realized just how much I loved the order of my life at sea! It was definitely "sensory overload" when it got home, and it took a few weeks to adjust. I think it has taken me till now (5 months since returning home, mind you) to figure out how to restore order to my life amidst a culture that is very anti-order.

One of the other things I discovered upon returning home is that I have gray hair. Not just a single gray hair, or a few gray hairs scattered about, but legitimate "clumps" of gray hair! In several places! Now, before you accuse me of vanity and offer me a verse from Ecclesiastes to comfort me, allow me a few moments to offer a rant. Gray hair?!? Sure, I'm in my mid-twenties, and getting older, but gray hair?! Really?? Of course this has been the most delightful opportunity for my mom to suggest that now I finally need to go get my hair highlighted (haha, doubtful).

So now, I am trying to figure out: what caused my gray hair? Seven months of stressful yet ordered life at sea, or five months of struggling to adjust back to the world and achieve order once again? I don't know. I only discovered it in early March of this year, so who knows. I don't even know how you get gray hair. Don't worry, I'm not so worried or obsessed that I've been WebMD-ing gray hair growth or anything, but it is a curious thing as to how it came about.

At the very least, I will look with a little sense of affection to those gray hairs. Even if it is just an old wives tale, I'll take it if it means I have grown somewhat in wisdom. As we look towards the Solemnity of Pentecost (novena starts today!) may we never cease to be open to receive the gifts of the Holy Spirit, especially wisdom! Even if it brings with it a few gray hairs. :-)

27 May 2011

Choosing Life

A Sailor came by my office yesterday to see me on her checklist of preparations for detaching from the ship. I was surprised--she wasn't set to transfer for quite a few months. But I put the pieces together quickly, and she revealed that she was transferring early because she was pregnant. Something you should know--when a Sailor discovers she is pregnant, she is essentially transferred off the ship almost immediately, as they cannot be on the ship past 20 weeks into their pregnancy. Usually, it is much sooner than that. They are transferred to a shore duty position and are an immediate and unexpected loss to the ship.

This isn't the first Sailor who has gotten pregnant while on sea duty. (For those not as familiar with Navy terminology, "sea duty" means you are serving on a ship, as opposed to serving at a shore-based command. You rotate between sea and shore duties every couple of years). There's nothing wrong or against the rules for a Sailor to get pregnant while on sea duty. You could say that it is "discouraged"--seasoned Sailors would say, "well that's what shore duty is for!" and might even frown upon those who get pregnant while on sea duty. You might hear some who say "it hurts the ship" or "it's selfish"...ugh, makes me want to scream. Yes--the Sailor is an unexpected loss, and their role and duties on the ship will have to be filled quickly. But life goes on. The Navy will send someone else. Someone will step up and take care of business. The beautiful reality is that, whether "planned" or not, this Sailor is bringing a new life into the world, and that is ALWAYS a reason to rejoice.

Anyway, this particular Sailor was one I really admired professionally, and respected a great deal more personally after this moment we had together. During her time onboard, she was a forceful leader among the female enlisted Sailors and really took charge of keeping them in line. She had a lot of experience and a lot of special skills vital to the command. She opened up to me, there in my office, about how she was sick of so many people telling her she had "other options;" that this "issue" didn't have to halt her career. She kept telling me, "I know God has a plan for this baby. I just know it." And although it is an inopportune time for her to have a baby, it is God's plan--and she was surrendered to it beautifully, despite the despicable commentary of some of her shipmates.

It is in little moments like this that I am really encouraged in my unbelievably secular line of work. Sadly, we've had quite a few situations like this on my ship that didn't end this way. So when these little victories come, it is a great blessing and such a wonderful reminder that God is here working--even on my crazy little ship. :-)

24 May 2011

The End of the One-Year Hiatus!

Well, looks like it's been a year since I posted last...wow! Much has happened during that year.
Namely, I made a seven-month overseas deployment, saw the world, learned a lot about myself, and grew in my love for our Lord Jesus Christ.

Now, post-deployment and two years into my service in the Navy, I have hit a crossroads in my life. Maybe this little blog will be a means for me to process all of these things! All for God's glory, and for His will to be done. Now and forever!