"I have the deck."

I'm happy to report that on Friday, I met one of the biggest milestones of my Naval career as a Surface Warfare Officer. I am now a qualified "Officer of the Deck" Underway. The Officer of the Deck is the eyes and ears of the Captain in the Pilothouse (aka the Bridge) for safe and swift navigation of the ship and execution of the ship's schedule and routine.

The officer of the deck (OOD) occupies a unique position in a naval ship. Nowhere in military or civilian life is there a parallel to the range and degree of responsibility that is placed in the hands of the OOD. As a direct representative of the Captain, he or she acts with all the authority of command and, next to the Captain and Executive Officer (XO), is the most important person in the ship. Qualification as OOD is the cornerstone of professional growth for a surface line officer and the most critical milestone of the Surface Warfare Qualification. (Watch Officer's Guide)

Following a four years of preparation in college and the past year experiencing different evolutions, I was offered to have a qualification board with the Captain, XO, and Department Heads of the ship to earn my qual. After a lot of studying and two practice boards (aka "murder boards") I went into my final board and passed! It gave me a great boost of confidence and excitement. And yet, it is also a great burden--knowing the responsibility which lies in my hands during my watch. Luckily, I am surrounded by fellow officers who will continue to train me and help me through these first few weeks of being qualified. All of this, both my recent qualification and my very status as a Naval officer, is an honor I am unworthy of and try to live up to each day.

When we turnover the watch, there's a formal process of passing down information and a professional military turnover, with salutes and statements of relieving the watch. Standing watch as the OOD is known as "having the deck." I wish I could tell you what it's like to utter those words, especially for the first time, "Attention in the Pilothouse...I have the deck."

Praised be Jesus Christ for carrying me to this milestone. All glory and honor belong to Him--for this is His work.

One Year Down...

Hard to believe. As of today, I've completed my first year as a commissioned officer in the Navy. My first year living totally on my own, out of college and in the world. It's been a year?! In some respects, college seems like a far distant memory; in another, it feels like yesterday that I was walking across the stage at graduation. Moving to my first duty station last May, I never knew I'd experience what I've experienced this year. Not that anything particularly shocking or crazy has happened--it's just that each day, I never know what could happen next.

Here's some particular experiences that have been pretty noteworthy during my first year of "real life"--some were expected, some unexpected:

1. Went to court

Ok, I'll clarify. I went to court with one of my sailors. It's protocol that if one of our sailors has to go to court, be it for a traffic ticket or something more, someone from the chain of command has to go with him/her. It's kind of a neat idea, and is a great illustration of how we in the military really support each other--the whole person. Leadership and caring for your sailors doesn't stop when you cross the brow of the ship--it's a full-time job, and you need your head on a swivel to keep track of everyone. You wouldn't find that in the corporate world.

2. Went to jail

Haha--don't worry, it wasn't me who was in jail! But I did go to jail to pick someone up after getting released. One of my sailors, in fact. I'll never forget what that drive back to the ship was like. Hearing his story of what his 25 days in jail were like, and the fear in his voice knowing he was going to come back to the ship just to be kicked out of the Navy and have to go back on the streets--streets he joined the Navy to escape from. But he was having continual discipline issues, and his bout in jail was the straw that broke the camel's back. I still think about him--I hope he's doing ok.

3. Administered oaths

One of the privilidges you have as an officer is the authority to reenlist a sailor signing on for additional years of service, readministering their oath of enlistment and witnessing the signing of their new contract. This is one of those honors I love to do--and one I never feel worthy of. I was also extremely honored to get to serve as the commissioning officer for one of my friends from college who recently became a Marine Corps officer. I administer the oath of office, that beautiful public vow we make as officers, indefinitely pledging our allegiance to and defense of the Constitution of the United States. Sweet. And I finally got to go to the USMC Museum!

4. Played on a soccer team

I know I know, kinda lame. Not as illustrious as the other items on this list. But seriously--I never would have thought I'd be playing on a soccer team past third grade. Thank you Naval Base Intramurals! And my awesome shipmates/teammates, the base championship runner-ups. :-)

5. Marched for Life

Yes! I finally got to go to the March for Life! What an amazing event it was. I ran into so many people that I knew, and so many friends of friends--it's such a beautiful legit Catholic family we have. I was so encouraged to be there in our nation's capital, standing with my generation for those who have no voice. Pretty moving.

6. Watched the Saints win the Superbowl

I mean, come on. This was the biggest event ever for Saints fans, the city of New Orleans, and Gulf Coast. What a glorious season. And the best part--to be in New Orleans the week after for Mardi Gras, watching Drew Brees reign as Bacchus, and hear WHO DAT while dancing the Second Line nonstop.

I wouldn't say I've learned anything too particularly profound this past year. If anything, I've learned how beautifully simple your life can be, and at the same time, so utterly fulfilling. All it takes is an unwavering attentiveness to God and a total trust in His will. Simple, right?

His will continues to unfold before me, and each day, I wake up ready to set out into the deep, not knowing what is going to happen next. I'm recklessly abandoned to His Divine Providence--only thanks to the grace He never ceases to offer upon my unworthy soul. Who could ask for more?

"Your will is my heritage forever, the joy of my heart.
I set myself to carry out your will in fullness, forever."
~Psalm 119

Right Place, Right Time

For the servant of God,

every place is the right place

and every time is the right time.

Saint Catherine of Siena

What better words could be proclaimed by my dear sister Catherine than these, especially at this point in my life! How better to embrace the sanctity of the present moment than to remember that if we follow God's will and abandon ourselves to divine providence, everything will fall exactly into place, exactly as it is supposed to.

There will be hopefully be more blogging coming up, especially as my shipmates and I prepare to "set out into the deep" in just a couple of weeks. I also wanted to share this lovely photo of some of the Sisters from St. Mary Star of the Sea School in Hampton, a mission of the Dominican Sisters of Saint Cecilia, visiting my ship for a tour.

Praised be Jesus Christ, now and forever!

Come Awake

The Gospel reading for today, for the Second Sunday of Lent, is of the Transfiguration of Christ, where Christ shone in glory to Peter, James, and John, and His Sonship to God the Father was once again revealed. I love the Transfiguration. My favorite line of the reading is the words of Peter, realizing the beauty and glory of that moment, and saying, "It is good that we are here." I find myself saying that so often in my life. In those moments when you feel so fulfilled, so at peace, so content with what God has given you; how can you not just look around, breathe it all in, and say, "it is good that we are here."

Tonight, though, for the first time, I noticed some new words.

Peter and his companions

had been overcome by sleep;

but becoming fully awake,

they saw His glory.

(Luke 9:32)

Peter and his companions were asleep--definitely a recurring problem for them--falling asleep as Jesus kept His long prayer vigils. At this point, as Christ was praying, Moses and Elijah appeared and were conversing with Christ before Peter, James, and John even woke up! Look at what they were missing! Look at what was happening before them--but--they were asleep. Missing out on the glory before them.

And yet, suddenly, they were awakened. And Scripture doesn't just say "they woke up," but rather, that they became "fully awake." What does that mean? What's the difference between being "awake" and being "fully awake?" If they had just been "awake," they would have woken up, freaked out at the bright light and strange people around them, and we would have heard a much different Gospel today. Instead, they were "fully awake"--and they immediately saw the glory of the Lord before them, recognized Moses and Elijah before them, and immediately saw the Truth, Beauty of Goodness of the Transfiguration. Peter made that beautiful statement, "it is good that we are here," and even offered to build tents, that they might stay there and allow this unbelievable moment to endure. They were fully awake because their hearts were attentive to God and hopeful for what He could do in their lives--and hence, the Transfiguration was not a moment of fright, but a moment of sheer beauty.

So what are we doing? Are we living our lives asleep, blind to what is going on around us, unaware of what God is doing in our lives? Are we not asleep but just simply awake, able to see what God is doing but not able to comprehend it or accept it? Or, are we living our lives fully awake, aware of His grace and His goodness, thriving so beautifully in His will that we cannot help but exclaim at every moment of our lives, "it is good that we are here."

Wake up!

Hope for the world? Union with God.

Today we celebrate the Feast of the Presentation of the Lord, when our Lord Jesus Christ was presented to God in the temple by our Blessed Mother and Saint Joseph. It is also the day we observe the World Day for Consecrated Life. Just as Mary and Joseph brought their Son to the temple to offer Him to the service of God, so too do men and women offer their entirety to the service of God and His Church through the vows of the consecrated life, choosing to mold themselves most intimately to Christ the poor, Christ the chaste, Christ the obedient.

You might hear some argue that such concepts as vowed religious life are "out of date" or "medieval" or "no longer necessary" to the modern world we live in today. With iPods and computers and connectivity and the world literally at our fingertips, why choose to live such an austere and seemingly pointless life? What those nay-sayers don't realize is that the consecrated life is exactly what the world needs. And quite frankly, the consecrated life is the secret to what has kept the Church ticking through 2000 years of joys and sufferings, of successes and hardships.

Nuns and Sisters, Friars and Brothers throughout history have done marvelous things. With lives totally devoted to the service of the Church, they have a unique availability to the matters of God. Countless Saints were religious, serving in so many apostolates: for the poor, for the elderly, for the sick, for children, for the orphaned--and the list goes on. And while this seems to be the most recognized facet of the lives of religious in history, it actually is not the crux of who they are and why they exist. The reality is that the apostolate--the work in the world--is secondary in the life of a religious person.

A consecrated person's primary obligation is union with God--a radical embrace of the life of Christ, living out fully the evangelical councils, and hence serving as eschatological signs to the world of what we should expect in Heaven. If we reduce the religious life to simply a renunciation of marriage for a greater availability to the business of the Church, we are selling the life short of what it truly is.

And so, in a world so in need of workers in the Lord's vineyard, with so many poor and sick and abandoned and lonely people needing the hand of Christ to serve them--what the world needs above all is hope. Hope that there is a reason to get out of bed each morning besides the next paycheck and the next fad. Hope that our lives have meaning and purpose beyond social status and popularity. Hope that there is a place beyond the turmoil and suffering of our fallen humanity.

And where will society find this hope? In the heart of every Christian, radically serving as an alter Christus, another Christ, on earth. And most especially, we find that hope in the heart of every person consecrated to the Lord Jesus Christ, through their unwavering fidelity to prayer, their fixation on the heart of Christ, and the sacrifice of their entire lives for the sake of the Kingdom. May God continue to anoint all religious around the world, today and everyday, that they all remain faithful to their way of life and that we all might benefit from their vocations.

"Virginity is not espousing a cause; but a person."

Father Raniero Cantalamessa, OFM Cap

Preacher to the Papal Household

Fresh Paint, Fresh Attitude

I had a very quiet duty day on the ship today, during an already quiet week through a holiday stand-down period. We’ve got a lot of random work to accomplish during this time, including a lot of cleaning, painting, and catching up on admin. I had spent the day doing some organizing, stood the afternoon watch, and relaxed after dinner. I went topside to make some phone calls, wishing family and friends a happy new year. It’s a cold, wet, foggy night, as the blurry haze of the holiday lighting from ships all along the waterfront glowed around me. I went back to my stateroom to watch football when I had a knock on my door. It was one of my sailors, who came excitedly to tell me that he’d finished repainting one of our spaces. I asked immediately if he’d show me his work, and we headed down to the space. As we walked there, he proudly spoke of all the details of his work, and as we got to the shop, it was clean and perfectly painted. He pointed out many particulars of what he did, and how he was careful and paid very close attention to details. His enthusiasm and pride in his work was astounding, and his positive attitude was extremely encouraging. I too was filled with pride to know that he was one of my sailors, who is a particularly hard worker and was taking ownership of his accomplishments. If only everyone took such joy in their work, no matter how mundane or ordinary. It really inspired me, and it was a nice way to end my 2009.

If I’ve learned anything this year, it’s that life is all about the details. While we tend to focus on really “big” moments in our lives as we reminisce about the past, the reality is that most of our lives are spent doing routine, ordinary things. You can even look at the life of our Lord Jesus Christ. He spent the first 30 years of His life doing normal, everyday tasks—it was only the last three years of His life that He began His public ministry and did the many “great things” we read about in the Gospels—preaching, healing, curing, saving. And this is true for us, too. Most of our life is filled with the plain, the normal, the ordinary, the routine. And while those words can have a negative or boring connotation, especially in our society so fascinated and motivated by the extreme and outrageous, it is in these ordinary things of life that we can come face-to-face with virtue, with good works, with holiness, with greatness. As I’ve written about before, there is so much sanctity to be had, right here in the present moment, right here among the ordinary. As a Christian and as a Catholic, I can live each moment, each instance in my life, wholly dedicated to the glory of God. Every day, every action, every moment. And when you live every moment for God’s greater glory, you bring sanctity to even the most ordinary things of life. When you live every moment for God, you bring dignity and worth to every task. Everything is worth doing if it is being done for God—in fact, everything is worth doing well when being done for God. This is what I have come to understand this past year, and this revelation has changed my life.

Praised be Jesus Christ, and to Him be all glory and honor and thanksgiving, for a wonderful and holy 2009. I pray that He continue to reveal His will to me in each moment, that I grow in charity and fidelity, and that He send His abundant blessings upon this new year. Happy 2010!


“Do you really want to be a saint? Carry out the little duty of each moment: do what you ought and put yourself into what you are doing.”
~Saint Josemaria Escriva

Thirsting for Hope

"The contemporary world needs hope above all..."

Pope Benedict XVI

On a duty day a couple weeks ago, it was a quiet Saturday evening. As I stood watch in the afternoon, I found out that we had a new sailor coming to the ship that evening. And not just any new sailor, but a sailor who will be in my division! Later that evening, I went topside to use my phone when the young sailor came onboard. I watched him walk down the pier, looking with a heart of pride and a hint of anxiety at his first ship. He was in dress blues with a sharp cover. He walked onboard and I met him at the brow, introduced myself as his division officer, and welcomed him aboard. He offered a crisp salute; you could see he was nervous and overwhelmed. I spoke with him for a little while, and then some other sailors took care of getting him set up. As he walked away, I couldn't help but be excited for him.

I stayed outside talking with some people and expressed to them my excitement for our new sailor. They teased me and were surprised how excited I was--I voiced how this sailor was another step toward a renewal and new hope. He was fresh out of boot camp--unaffected by any kind of negativity or bad attitude that can sometimes thrive on the ship. He is the future. I wish all of us kept that fervor and vigor of our first days onboard--eager to learn and with a bit of fear. I think we'd all be better for it!

I reflect on this again, especially now as we celebrate Advent and then the Christmas season--this season in which we are reminded that our God came to be one among us to save us, to be the hope the world needed, then, and forevermore! We each have the opportunity to be the hope the world needs--to be Christ--wherever God has placed you. So as you adore the little Christ child this Christmas, pray that He give your heart a renewal of joy and of hope, that we each might bring Christ to the world; a world thirsting for hope.

Our Single Endeavor

"My confidence is based in God

who does not need our help for accomplishing His designs.

Our single endeavor should be to give ourselves to the work

and to be faithful to Him."

Saint Isaac Jogues

Happy feast of the North American martyrs! Had to post this quote today, and a great photo of a sunset from the ship a couple weeks ago. Remember--it's all about fidelity!

The Sanctity of the Ordinary

"God waits for us every day

in all the immense panorama of work.

Understand this well:

there is something holy, something divine,

hidden in the most ordinary situations,

and it is up to each of you to discover it...

Either we learn to find our Lord in ordinary everyday life,

or else we shall never find Him."

Saint Josemaria Escriva

Obedience. This is definitely, in a sense, a vow I have taken as a member of the military. You go where you are told, do what you are told, and that's just the way it is. Even if it is not what you wanted, or not what you think will be ideal, you face what is asked of you and then adapt to make the best of it.

It seems like I've had several moments during these couple of months I've been on active duty where I've thought to myself, wow, I'm finally getting this and finally feeling a sense of comfort and steadiness. Feeling good; feeling comfortable. And, it has been soon after having these feelings that something changes. Something is asked of me, something happens, something comes along that brings me out of that comfort zone I had. You can't question it, you can't argue it. Complaining about it has no benefit. You just say, ok, let's do it. Obedience. Abandonment. Trust. Everyday is filled with these little fiats, these moments where I get to prove my trust in the Lord and echo the words of our Blessed Mother, be it done unto me according to Your word. Comfort? Who needs it. We were not made for comfort, we were made for greatness!

As far as this quote, from Saint Josemaria, this is very much the life I am trying to lead. Never before have I so recognized God in the mundane, the ordinary, the routine aspects of day-to-day life. Never before have I realized the beauty of each individual moment of the day as an opportunity to give glory and praise to God, by the means of your fidelity to living fully your state of life and being Christ to all you meet. It's a challenge, but definitely an adventure.

With joys and with challenges, I am indeed thriving.

Thanks be to God!

The secret to evangelization? Be Christ.

I'm enjoying a quiet Friday night after being out to sea for the week. It was a great week, a lot of good training and awesome opportunities. It had been a while since we've been out to sea for more than a day, and it really was fun to get out and run the ship as it was meant to be run--at SEA!

There really is something strangely odd about my business. I've noticed that at times, we sailors complain about getting underway (going to sea) and all we can think about or talk about is when we're coming home. But secretly, we all love it. We love going to sea. We love the challenge of never knowing what to expect next. We love the details of our duties and responsibilities. We love the formality and traditions about what we do. And you really see this when we go to sea. People rise to the occasion and face every situation in our operations with professionalism and proficiency. But we don't talk about it in that way. We're just doing our jobs--ain't no thang. And hence, I once again get to experience just how humble my shipmates are. It's never, "wow, look at all the sacrifices I am making." It's more like, "I'm just doing my job." It's astounding. I think anyone who has served in the military understands this. And it is a great blessing in my life, to be surrounded by such people constantly.

I had the unusual grace of getting to go to Mass nearly each day this week. We had a Catholic chaplain ride with us all week, a wonderful priest who is on exchange from the Canadian Army. I've really been trying to bring the Lord more and more into my life on the ship; trying to mesh my spiritual life with my work life. And getting to literally be WITH Him this week in the Mass, on my very ship, was beyond wonderful.

I really see myself as a missionary out here, in a way I didn't really expect. And each day, God is calling me to preach His Truth to everyone I meet. The funny part is, each person and each encounter is incredibly different and requires a totally different manner of evangelization. Some simply need an ear to listen. Some need to be praised in the details. Some need compassion and encouragement amidst a tough environment. Some need just a smile and a greeting as you walk by.

I feel like most of my "preaching" is done without even mentioning the name of Christ. Unconventional? It's seems so, but it's really not. Evangelization, in the purest form, is actually quite simple: be Christ. Christ Himself. As Saint Josemaria said, we must not just be alter Christus, another Christ, but rather, Christ Himself!, ipse Christus! And there en lies my ministry. Be Christ. At all times. To everyone you meet. Easy, right? Only with His constant grace, no matter how unworthy I may be to receive such grace.

I must admit that although I sit this night among the many comforts of my home, in an environment that is quiet and comfortable and away from the stressful pace of the ship (and the rough seas!), part of me already misses being at sea. There's just something about it. It is a life of service, a life of sacrifice, a life of total reliance on God at each moment. Things are a lot simpler out there.

May He mold my heart to live out each moment of my life preaching His Truth. Veritas!