An Intense Conviction

"It wasn't like a voice from the sky.  

But it was like an intense conviction of what I was made for."

   ~A Dominican Sister 

on knowing her vocation

I Have My Mission

God has created me to do Him some definite service; He has committed some work to me which He has not committed to another.  I have my mission--I may never know it in this life, but I shall be told it in the next.  I am a link in the chain, a bond of connection between persons.  He has not created me for naught.  I shall do good, I shall do His work; I shall be an angel of peace, a preacher of truth in my own place while not intending it, if I do but keep His commandments and serve Him in my calling.

Therefore, my God, I will put myself without reserve into Your hands.  What have I in heaven, and apart from you what do I want upon earth?  My flesh and my heart fail, God is the God of my heart, and my portion forever.  Amen.

~John Henry Cardinal Newman

Under Construction...

After a summertime blogging hiatus, I've decided to start a blog update/facelift/renewal.  Father Baker and the Vandy+Catholic blog is rocking, and I feel like it might be time to step up my game.  All I've changed so far is the name and header, as you can see.  Bear with me as I wait for inspiration!  

"Believe in the whisperings of God in your own heart."

~Blessed Mary MacKillop

Tears of the Saints

My discovery of a great new band and one of their incredible songs has beautifully coincided with a huge event in my family's life.  My grandmother, in her 70s, who was married to my grandfather, a devout Catholic, for over 50 years, and who raised 4 wonderful Catholic children, this past week came home and was fully received into the One, Holy, Apostolic Church.  She had been thinking about converting for a long time, but just never really did.  With much joy, my family converged on the Immaculate Heart of Mary Church in tiny Greenwood, Mississippi in the heart of the Delta last weekend to witness her reception.  It was beautiful.  I couldn't hold back the tears.  This woman, my wonderful grandmother, whom I have adored for so long for her strength and ability to unite our family, for her real understanding of motherhood, was home.  And she was now united to me and my family in a new and profoundly beautiful way--through the Holy Eucharist.  Indeed, things will never be the same.  At that moment, I already felt closer to her, as she received the Eucharist for the first time.  Hearts united.  The beautiful collision, where depravity meets divinity.  Oneness.  Truth.  Beauty.  Love.

The band is Leeland.  Their song is "Tears of the Saints."

there are tears from the saints

for the lost and unsaved

we're crying for them, come back home

we're crying for them, come back home

and all Your children will stretch out their hands

and pick up the crippled man

Father, we will lead them home

Father, we will lead them home

I can't help but think on these words.  What does that look like?  Tears of the saints?  To think of the tears the saints in heaven shed over our depraved world.  The sorrow they feel for the lost, for the weary, for those who do not know real Love.  The sadness when God's own children on earth aren't helping those lost.  Or when we, His children, turn from Him.  

Yet, at the same time, they also can shed tears of joy.  I know they were last Sunday as my grandmother came home.  Heaven greeting earth in a holy kiss in the Mass, as she encountered heaven on earth for the first time in her life.  Tears of the saints, heaven rejoicing, as she entered into the fullness of Truth and Love.  If my feeble little heart shed tears at that moment, there is no doubt that the pure hearts of heaven were, too.

"There will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous people who have no need of repentance."

~Luke 15:7

Our Sweet Christ on Earth

This April, several students from Vandy+Catholic went on a mini-pilgrimage to Washington, D.C. and New York City to see our Holy Father, Pope Benedict XVI, during his historic Apostolic journey to the United States. Thanks to some dedicated planners and luck with getting tickets, we had the privilege to send students to the Papal Mass at Nationals Stadium in D.C. and the Youth Rally at St. Joseph Seminary in Yonkers, NY. We quickly got used to intricate travel plans, waiting in line, standing for hours outside in the sun, getting lost on the subway—all your classic assets of a true pilgrimage!

Having been personally present at the Youth Rally, it was so fun to travel with some of my closest friends, all leading up to an absolutely incredible encounter with the Vicar of Christ on earth, Pope Benedict XVI. There were two amazing things about this day. First: how truly unbelievable it was to be in presence of "our sweet Christ on earth," as St. Catherine of Siena called him. His presence! You could feel the hope of Christ pouring from his heart as he spoke, as he smiled, as he laughed, looking out on us like a proud grandfather as we screamed "Benedetto!" and "we love you Papa!" with great affection to our Chief Shepherd. The Holy Father's words penetrated so deeply into my soul, calling us to a life of "opting-in" through the authentic freedom bestowed upon us by Truth Himself: the Lord Jesus Christ, that we might "be drawn into Christ's very being for others." Pope Benedict spoke to us cor ad cor loquitur, heart speaks to heart. It was profoundly intimate.

Yet, the other wondrous thing about the day was to be in community, among 30,000 of my generation, who were inflamed with love for Christ and His Church—a generation tired of a watered-down, relativistic view of faith and of Catholicism; a generation ready to rise up, stand for Truth, and tell the world the reason for the hope that is within us. Present at the rally were hundreds of America's seminarians, our future priests: all young, excited, and ready to change the world. Most of them were in cassocks, even in the intense heat of the day. We asked one if he was hot in his cassock; he replied that he was offering his discomfort to the Holy Father! It was such a beautiful example of the future of our Church, ready to offer our every detail of our lives for our Dear Lord and the benefit of His Kingdom.

It was a great joy to be among the Mystical Body of Christ: both in its members of our fired-up generation and the Vicar of its Head, our dear Papa!

"Dear friends, truth is not an imposition. Nor is it simply a set of rules. It is a discovery of the One who never fails us; the One whom we can always trust. In seeking truth we come to live by belief because ultimately truth is a person: Jesus Christ. That is why authentic freedom is not an opting out. It is an opting in; nothing less than letting go of self and allowing oneself to be drawn into Christ’s very being for others." ~Pope Benedict XVI

An Obvious Response of Love

"Those who have been given the priceless gift of following the Lord Jesus more closely consider it obvious that He can and must be loved with an undivided heart, that one can devote to Him one's whole life. The precious ointment poured out as a pure act of love is a sign of unbounded generosity. From such a life 'poured out' without reserve there spreads a fragrance which fills the whole house. What in people's eyes can seem a waste is for the individuals captivated in the depths of their heart by the beauty and goodness of the Lord, an obvious response of love, a joyful expression of gratitude for having been admitted in a unique way to the knowledge of the Son and to a sharing in His divine mission in the world."

~Pope John Paul II, Vita Consecrata #104


Christ is risen!
He is risen indeed, alleluia!

Sacrifice and Joy

More news from my favorite religious order that I just had to share. PBS recently filmed and interviewed with the Dominican Sisters of St. Cecilia, and put together this great video. Here are some of my favorite quotes from the Sisters.

"I finished high school, I went to college in Washington, DC for four years, and I came up against relativism: the idea that we can't -- people said that we couldn't know what was good, what was bad, what was true. So I really began questioning where truth comes from. Where does goodness come from? I know I have values. Who gives them to me? And so between that moment and here, it was a process of, "This is scary, I don't understand this. I don't see why I would be called. How can I be called? I am so normal."

"When you have fallen in love with God, everything doesn't seem quite so important anymore because God, the creator of the world, has asked you to be his bride. No, I will not be having sex. No, I will not be having children. No, I will not be marrying a spouse. But my very body and blood is united to God in a way that isn't offered to everyone in the world."

"With sacrifice can come great joy. We know that sacrificing is not opposed to being happy. In fact, it can be our path to happiness. So sadness, no; sacrifice, yes."

Caught in His Gaze

To be caught in the gaze of our Lord. Is this possible? We so constantly go through our lives thinking we're just always looking up towards Him, but do we ever think that He looks upon us with even more love? We encounter this in Scripture in a very beautiful way in the parable of of the rich man, specifically in St. Mark's Gospel. The words drip beauty and really show a powerful aspect of our Lord's ministry here on earth. As the young man was asking Jesus what he must do to inherit eternal life, the response of Christ, before he utters any words, is this:

Jesus, looking at him, loved him.

What that gaze must have felt like. The gaze of the Word made flesh, the gaze of Love itself; pouring over you and consuming you. Can we encounter this now? Can we sit in the gaze of Jesus? Of course. Make a holy hour with the Blessed Sacrament, and just sit, and look. Be still. Just BE with Him; that gaze, which has been called the greatest miracle of all, will envelop your whole self.

Our eyes are small, but they can see the beauty of His majesty, no matter if we think we can contain it. His eyes, though, see infinitely, into the depths of our souls. And He looks upon us with such love. May that gaze continuously take hold of us; the gaze of the Almighty yet Humble, the Just yet Merciful, our Never-Changing and Everlasting Beloved.

Let His gaze capture your heart. Let His gaze heal your wounds. Let His gaze bring you the peace you are searching for. How we long to rest in His gaze for all time!

As a bridegroom calls his bride, let Jesus tell you,

How beautiful you are, show me your face, let me hear your voice.

And may we be captured by Him, and quickly respond,

I looked for You, the one my heart loves
I looked for You, but did not find You
Searched through the night until I rested in Your sight
Now I will never let You go.


"What happiness do we not feel in the presence of God, when we find ourselves alone at His feet, before the Holy Tabernacle! 'Come, my soul, redouble your ardor! You are here alone to adore your God! His look rests on you alone!"
~St. John Vianney

Breath of Heaven, Hold Me Together

Advent is quickly drawing to a close as Christmas approaches in just a short week. Our Gospel readings are focusing less on the second coming and more on this first coming, as we now must be patient, waiting in silent prayer for the fulfillment of God's plan. And what a truth that is for us in our lives. We sit and wait, listening to God tug on our hearts. But the fulfillment of those plans do not always happen immediately. We must constantly unite ourselves with our Blessed Mother, as she waited, scared but patient, lonely but full of hope, feeling unworthy but abandoning herself to His plan. In this last week before Christmas, let us truly be one with our Mother, waiting in hopeful prayer for His plan to be fulfilled--both for His birth at Christmas and in each of our lives.

There's a beautiful song illustrating this truth, "Breath of Heaven" by Amy Grant. I heard it for the first time a couple weeks ago, and it has quickly become one of my favorites.

I have traveled many moonless nights
Cold and weary with a babe inside
And I wonder what I've done
Holy Father, You have come
And chosen me now, to carry Your Son

I am waiting in a silent prayer
I am frightened by the load I bear
In a world as cold as stone
Must I walk this path alone?
Be with me now, be with me now

Breath of Heaven, hold me together
Be forever near me, Breath of Heaven
Breath of Heaven, lighten my darkness
Pour over me Your holiness, for You are holy
Breath of Heaven

Do you wonder as you watch my face
If a wiser one should have had my place
But I offer all I am
For the mercy of Your plan
Help me be strong, help me be, help me


"The angel Gabriel said, 'Hail, full of grace, the Lord is with you.' But she was greatly troubled at what was said and pondered what sort of greeting this might be. Then the angel said, 'Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God."
~Luke 1:28-30

The Dawn of Advent

Well, happy new year and happy Advent! (I know, a couple days late) What a beautiful time of year. The Church's new year, time to start fresh. It's funny how toward the end of the season of Ordinary Time, many readings in Mass were concerned with the "end of time," the second coming of Christ. And here as we begin Advent, we continue to hear about the coming of Jesus, as we did last Sunday, with being cautioned to "be ready" for Him, for we know not at what hour He will come. As this speaks of the second coming, we also spend Advent preparing to remember His first coming, when a young girl answered "yes" to the call of God, and the Word became flesh, and dwelt among us. The words "come, Lord Jesus!" echo in the hearts of all Christians in this season, as we await Christmas, as well as our Lord's second coming in glory.

And as we listen and reflect on these Gospels concerned with His coming, do we think about the "coming" of Christ we can witness each and every day? Do we stop and think of how God answers our prayer of "come, Lord Jesus" all over the world at every hour of the day at every single Mass, when Heaven kisses earth and the Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity of our Lord becomes incarnate before our very eyes? Does this perpetual coming of our Lord become redundant or routine? Let this time of Advent be a time for us to renew our love for the Mass and the Eucharist, where we can celebrate "Christmas" every day; a celebration of our Lord dwelling among us. Let us not forget that the glory of it all is the He IS here. Just as He promised. What a faithful God we have!

And, to echo the chillingly inspiring end to Fr. Baker's homily last Sunday,
GOD IS WITH US!!


"All the love in the world is right here among us."
~David Crowder